Borowitz - Giuliani Warns Matt Gaetz That Trump Never Pays His Attorneys

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Urging him “not to take that freaking job,” on Wednesday Rudolph Giuliani warned Rep. Matt Gaetz that Donald J. Trump never pays his attorneys.

“I know what you’re thinking—'I’ll get paid millions and then I’ll be swimming in hooch and broads,’” the former New York mayor said. “Not gonna happen!”

“When Trump cans your ass—and he will—you’ll be in the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot with me drinking Two-Buck Chuck straight from the bottle.”

For his part, Trump said that by choosing Gaetz he was keeping his campaign promise of creating jobs for unskilled white men.

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/giuliani-warns-matt-gaetz-that-trump