Grief is a funny thing. It manifests in many different ways.
I've been noticing what I thought was a strange phenomenon on DU over the last couple of weeks. A lot of people seem to be writing basically mean posts to answer others posts. I know we disagree a lot and do so in many different ways, but I don't remember just plain mean ones usually. I'm responding this morning to responses to a post by someone unhappy about not being with their family over Thanksgiving thanks to politics. As I read the responses I kept thinking, 'well, that was kind of mean to say' or even more 'that was a mean thing to say to the poster'.
I've been seeing more and more responses that sort of set me back on my heels because I couldn't imagine saying something like that. Now mind you, I am not a basically sweet person, but I have learned over the years to be very careful what I say in public, although this post is obviously not a good example of that discretion . Yes, I'm well aware I'm setting myself up for some comments that I probably won't like. But, you see, grief has made me angry and I'm tired of holding my tongue and while people do and say unkind things. I'm just basically pissed at what has happened, but I don't want to be pissed at what I see as happening more and more on DU.
Can we please just breathe a little bit, and think of the person we're responding to as a real person with real feelings that might now align with yours but what good does being mean do?
= new reply since forum marked as read
This needs to be our safe space
imo.
I'm still wandering around in my head and heart about what happened and what's going to happen and how best to deal with both. I need a safe place. it doesn't have to be 'afternoon tea' safe. I thoroughly enjoy a good debate and wide ranging conversation with the bonus of different minds and new information.
But good healthy debate & diverse opinions are vastly different from meanness.
fortunately I have some extra, skin that is.
