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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI don't know how to say this, but I'm going to try.
I don’t like the word “triggered.” I think it has been so overused that it has lost its impact and meaning.
However, after watching today’s hearing with Pete Hegseth and having a few hours to think about what happened there, I am deeply triggered right now. And I’m certain I am not alone.
I have known men like Pete Hegseth my entire adult life, entitled pretty boys who never learned where the boundaries were or how to respect other people.
I know I am not alone in having quit a job because of sexual harassment and a toxic (another overused word, sorry) environment caused by men with misogynistic and sexist attitudes toward women.
This entire scenario unfolding before us, with Trump and his depraved view of the world at the top, is sickening and frightening.
You want to know what is even more sickening than the unserious members of the “good old boys” club? Women like Joni Ernst. What a spectacular fraud. She has never stood up for victims of sexual assault. She didn’t even show up for Dr. Blasey-Ford’s hearing. She refused to meet with the woman who accused Hegseth of rape. She failed to ask meaningful questions today.
I can not bear to think about what the next four years are going to bring, for women in the military and for women who are federal employees, especially those working in Washington D.C.

biophile
(687 posts)We remember how it used to be. Even though it never completely went away, we are not looking forward to seeing it again.
DENVERPOPS
(11,591 posts)know that there are A LOT of us men, standing right at your sides, in lock step with you................
calikid
(671 posts)biophile
(687 posts)Thank you!
biophile
(687 posts)I once worked with a fine man (wealthy, white, Ivy League) who was very enlightened and intelligent. But he was very surprised, when he watched the show Mad Men, how badly the women were treated in the early 60’s business world. He was old enough to have lived through it, but didn’t see it at the time. I guess it was “just the way things are” and obviously it didn’t affect him, so it just didn’t register. I do believe that men today - at least the ones worth knowing- are much more aware of inequities.
Beartracks
(13,835 posts)That's an insidious aspect of male privilege: you can't automatically see it when you're born into it.
===============
DENVERPOPS
(11,591 posts)in the 70's when Colorado passed the Equal Pay for Equal Work. (I was in my 20's).... A close female friend of mine was a Full Professor at CU Med. School.
She was amazed when her first check under the new law was exactly DOUBLE what it had been...................And that was the amount all the Male Full Professors had been collecting for a Decade or more.........
It is appalling to me that there are still enough opposing States that we STILL can't pass the ERA........Must be alot of insecure white males out there that can't stand the threat of a level playing field......
soldierant
(8,318 posts)but also enough have reneged that it would be dicey. And this Supreme Court would overturn it. And we might have to start all over.
WinstonSmith4740
(3,262 posts)Back in the 80's, I was in a march for our reproductive rights...Operation "Oppress You" was in full swing. There was a woman there, dressed entirely in white, obviously in her 70's. We all flocked to her, trying to access her wisdom. She said something that I'm sure we all remembered..."I can't believe I still have to fight for this shit." Well, today, I am that woman. I'm 76, and still can't believe we have to fight this battle again.
So far, I'm pretty happy about what I'm seeing out of Democrats in The House. We need way more Jasmine Crockett's, AOC's, Eric Swalwell's, etc. I think the Senate made a big mistake with Schumer by not bringing in the next generation, but we'll see. There's a lot to be said for experience at times like this, but I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it. The Democrats need to stop bringing a damn rule book to a gun fight. Republicans only care about rules when it benefits them, and Schumer tends to keep the rule book close by.
People keep referring to a "tough 4 years". They seem to think that Trump and his minions are going to abide by Constitutional norms. Please. Get real. They said in Project 2025, they are looking to create a "post Constitutional America". I'm not sure what we have to do to get the press off their damn knees, but I know if I'm ever fortunate to have a mike stuck in front of me for a "person on the street" perspective, the first thing I'm going to say is this whole mess is mainly the MSM's fault. All they had to do was tell the truth, but that was obviously too much to ask.
Walleye
(39,232 posts)Men don’t realize that most women have been sexually harassed, especially if they went into the workplace as young women. There’s always men who have to try it on. It’s not something unusual, it’s disgusting. These jerks weren’t brought up right. And I would say they actually hate women.
ShazzieB
(20,046 posts)Last edited Wed Jan 15, 2025, 12:57 AM - Edit history (1)
Trump is one of those. I saw a clip of him before the election, from some rally or other, where he said "I LOOOVE women!" and he managed to make it sound so lascivious that it made my skin crawl. That's because men like him don't love women as people, but as a source of things that give them pleasure, particularly sexual pleasure.
Men like Trump "love" certain things about some women (those they find attractive), but they don't see any woman as their equal or as someone with feelings and needs that are worthy of respect. They see the ones theyre attracted to as something akin to a sex doll, and the others as simply beneath their notice. If a woman they find attractive has actual skills and abilities, they may be impressed the way they'd be impressed by a trained animal being put through its paces.... as long as she's not so smart and talented to make them feel threatened!
I'm describing the most extreme type of straight male sexism, of which Trump is a prime example, but it's a continuum, on which he just happens to be at the farthest end. I believe that men who sexually harass women and treat them as "less than" in every respect other than the sexual are somewhere on that continuum.
Fortunately, there are also high quality men out there who relate to women as fully equal fellow human beings rather than pretty toys. I know this for a fact, because I've known quite a few of them. I'm married to one, and there are lots of such quality men right here at DU. To any such man who may be reading this, please know that I see you, I appreciate you, and I was not talking about you in the earlier part of this post. 😀
biophile
(687 posts)Walleye
(39,232 posts)He was making me feel very violent. And I don’t like that.
patphil
(7,602 posts)rubbersole
(9,619 posts)...Ted Bundy-ish by night.
KitFox
(268 posts)Irish_Dem
(67,214 posts)Most women have run into this kind of male.
slightlv
(5,245 posts)and while we both are staying away from the mean politics as much as possible, and trying to figure out a way through the dystopia that awaits the country, we somehow found ourselves talking about various ex's, boyfriends, etc., who had not only mistreated us, but abused us. You get any two women in a room, and they will find instant recognition with this. We've always been abused, and now as I face 70 square in the face, I feel like I don't see it changing... ever.
I've said in the past the only way to live with maga is not to live with them... give them their own country and let them make of it what they will, as they will. I almost wonder sometimes if the entire human race hasn't become so corrupted by millennia of patriarchy that it would be better off to just live in our own little conclaves. Take "tribal" to it's ultimate breadth. But then, I'm really not feeling good today....
Irish_Dem
(67,214 posts)Many women in Japan and South Korea are no longer dating, sleeping with or marrying males.
They are done with the patriarchy and how they are treated.
Across the globe the birth rates are way down. Women are not feeling like having babies.
I am sure women under house arrest under the Taliban are thinking along the same lines if they could
get away with it. They would be killed for saying no to a male.
But they wish they could escape the tyranny.
I have talked to a number of women here in the US who are thinking of leaving the US.
Looking at Canada, Europe, New Zealand.
Those of us who are older remember clearly what life was like for our mothers and grandmothers.
And ourselves when we were young.
We thought the progress women made was permanent.
But it is all being taken away and we are back to the old days again.
Yes many women are not feeling good today.
CrispyQ
(39,367 posts)At times it seems like we're a species at war with itself.
BattleRow
(1,547 posts)Slimy,creepy, dangerous..
Bleacher Creature
(11,497 posts)That describes a huge number of them (Trump included) and appealing to that cohort was one of the key goals of the campaign, especially with the focus on young men and prominent podcasters.
Irish_Dem
(67,214 posts)yardwork
(66,044 posts)I felt the same about Brett Kavanaugh. A lot of us know Brett. We don't like Brett. Brett is a bully, a sneak, an unserious person, and a suck-up to the powers that be. He doesn't have an original thought in his brain but can be counted on to do whatever underhanded job is required of him. In a regular occupation, he'd wreck the lives of people in his immediate orbit. Elevated by Trump, he's helping to wreck democracy.
Just like Pete Hegseth.
BigMin28
(1,643 posts)Kavanaugh worked for Kenneth Starr during the Clinton investigation and impeachment. He helped make the Starr report as salacious as possible.
arthritisR_US
(7,762 posts)mercuryblues
(15,514 posts)She claims she was raped in college. For the record, I believe her. My problem with her is that she uses that trauma to tell people she was raped and how dare you question me about my not believing (always a liberal supporter) someone else was raped.
Much like I used to say that Palin installed a handle on her youngest kid's back, with downs syndrome. Whenever someone (always a liberal supporter) used a derogatory term, she would grab that handle, hold him up and say, hey I am offended.
BattleRow
(1,547 posts)mercuryblues
(15,514 posts)Mister Ed
(6,522 posts)I was watching This Week With George Stephanopoulos last March when Stephanopoulos asked her how she, as a woman, could justify support for an adjudicated rapist like Donald Trump. She dodged the question by indignantly asking how dare he ask that of a rape survivor like herself.
Stephanopoulos continued to press for an answer, and she continued to dodge and deflect by repeating over and over again, how dare he ask that of a rape survivor, how dare he ask that of a rape survivor.
And now ABC News has backed down in its civil case and agreed to pay Trump fifteen million dollars for citing on-air the court case in which the judge stated clearly that Trump had been found liable for rape. And such unscrupulous women as Ernst and Mace will continue to leverage their status as rape survivors to empower and elevate sexual abusers like Hegseth and Trump.
ancianita
(40,215 posts)Still. We must find the inner fortitude to channel triggered feelings over the next four years to focus on the political fights that will slow down the oligarchy's destruction of democracy.
Because the facts show that we're no longer in a functioning democracy.
WizumbODaSage
(7 posts)... to manage ourselves during four or MORE years...
KS Toronado
(21,011 posts)
Brenda
(1,518 posts)I don't believe there's one god damned thing we can do politically to "slow down the oligarchy's destruction of democracy" - which has pretty much already happened right? And it started happening a few decades ago with the help of a few D's.
erronis
(18,661 posts)They may not be directly influencing me by their misogynist (or racist, etc.) comments and actions, but their attitudes of innate superiority have always made me want to distance myself.
I've worked with a lot of top-level military brass and almost never felt that same aversion. You don't rise up (usually) in the hierarchy by being a total asshole and bigot. Hegseth epitomizes these negative traits and would reinforce them in the rest of the DOD.
enigmania
(282 posts)hated me for shutting behavior like that down.
Lulu KC
(7,646 posts)I couldn't watch. I'm still not over watching the Kavanaugh confirmation hearings.
I cannot bear to think about a lot of things, too. We do what we can. We have to take care of our own mental health.
Cha
(309,221 posts)I do admire those who can stomach it, tho... they're amazing.
Not sure I ever used to be that way.. back when there was bush and I had a TV I would jump for the remote when he came on.
Stopped watching debates after bush VS Gore. I just read about it on DU.
Cha
(309,221 posts)reaction to watching the Hegseth hearing, mad.
I fervently Hope things don't go the way Mump & his Blatantly Misogynist Band of Ghouls want them to. I hope it Backfires Spectacularly.
spooky3
(37,265 posts)Cha
(309,221 posts)


It is going to be a very difficult 4 years.
Cha
(309,221 posts)Charge
I’m Hoping We Get Some Pleasant Surprises, tho
💙🇺🇸🕯️🕊️
TommyT139
(1,123 posts)Alas, if only there had been a functional "D" in power, "charge" would have been charged.
spooky3
(37,265 posts)nothing to bring down inflation and get pissed off. It won't matter for TSF, but it will for Republicans in Congress.
Cha
(309,221 posts)Any other of Mump’s Shit that Backfires like SS & Medicare
AverageOldGuy
(2,513 posts)In 2026, 33 Senators are up for election -- 20 Republicans, 13 Democrats. Ernst is one of the Republicans. She knows if she votes against a Trump appointee he will respond by running a MAGAt against her in a primary and she could lose her Senate seat.
She has no confidence in her own ability to defend her seat against a MAGAt, so, she takes the coward's way out -- bow to Trump and do as he wishes.
MLWR
(247 posts)I wonder if donald is going to have any semblance of a functioning brain in two years from now.
travelingthrulife
(1,948 posts)It's a cult.
AverageOldGuy
(2,513 posts)Active duty 1967 - 1995, one combat tour in Vietnam.
Hegseth talks about "lethiality" and "warriors." I know a few warriors who, along with me, used lethal force damn near every day.
Hegseth is a phony. He is covered with tats, wears his dog tags. He reminds me of the barstool warriors who hang out in the bars just outside the front gate of any large military base where a lot of infantry are stationed, telling war stories until they get punched out and tossed out of the place.
rasputin1952
(83,497 posts)Arazi
(7,638 posts)She has that stare… Since he’s said women, and especially mothers, can’t be lethal she really needed to put him down, in the most public manner.
What’s crazy is he’s so wrapped in his bubble he appears to have no idea how ferocious females can be. One or two of our female rangers need to come toe to toe with him - he’s not that tall - and let him look up to them and tell them they’re not “lethal” enough.
I’m glad she shamed him about his lack of even basic knowledge about other international military alliances like ASEAN but I had hoped for more.
Ernst was never going to confront him. She’s joined the cult like the rest of the GOP
legallyblondeNYC
(88 posts)And our military deserves better.
Isn't this DEI of another sort?
Will he be drunk on the next 9/11?
elleng
(139,034 posts)I've disliked ernst FOREVER. 'Spectacular fraud' says it all.
Initech
(104,400 posts)Like I wouldn't be surprised if he was the kind of kid in high school who shoved people into lockers and then got away with it by playing the Jesus card.
Evolve Dammit
(20,429 posts)Peregrine Took
(7,571 posts)We could see that today at the Hearing. No one seriously landed a glove on that greasy headed smirker.
No rethug will have the courage to try to stop him.I keep thinking about the movie Brazil. Everyone living in fear with an occasional monkey wrenching act by black clad Robert de Niro and everyone cheers. Who will be our de Niro?
rasputin1952
(83,497 posts)I will therefore start with this caveat:
I am a 72-year-old (73 as of tomorrow) straight, white, male, atheist. I believe that everyone has the right to live their lives as they see fit, unless the objective is to harm others. I am a combat vet from an ill-conceived war over 50 years ago, spending 13 years on active duty.
With that said, I was there when women came into the military in significant numbers. As a Medical Plt Sgt, I told my platoon that if I heard of any harassment or inappropriate behavior, they would answer to me first and then I would go to the CO to rectify such behavior, ZERO tolerance. My platoon was the only one in the entire Brigade, that never had a complaint from the women we came in contact with.
There is never a justification for unwanted advances upon anyone, end of story.
I have NO respect for those who abuse others, such behavior can never be tolerated.
Hegeseth is a knuckle-dragging idiot. For the short time I watched his hearing, he never answered anything pertaining to his previous behavior. It was obfuscation, "rumors", give me a break. For all of his time in the NG, and he could not make it to Major, speaks volumes.
Brenda
(1,518 posts)You probably saved a lot of women from being raped and hopefully taught some young men to respect women as people, not objects.
Attilatheblond
(5,563 posts)And as someone not far behind you in years, I wish you a very happy birthday and a good journey on your new spin around the sun. Looks grim for us all, but know you are well thought of for your work and words.
calimary
(85,683 posts)The Yellow-Haired Power-Junkie will tolerate nothing but steady genuflecting.
electric_blue68
(20,603 posts)Beringia
(4,983 posts)yellow dahlia
(2,112 posts)Total creepy Neanderthal abuser type.
LNM
(1,164 posts)I’m a white female not many years younger than you and, ya know, I really thought we would be through with this shit 40 years ago. There was sexual harassment training then but I guess it was just something you attended and then went on your way. The guys joked that it was to teach them how to sexually harass women. My co-workers (male) knew they’d get in trouble for sexist talk so they reverted to bashing gays. None of it ever went away. God, I’m sick of it. Thank you for being a man who recognizes this for being the wrong thing to do.
electric_blue68
(20,603 posts)Being Medical don't if you were in dangerous areas. If you were, I'm glad you made it through.
And Happy Birthday! 🎂 Enjoy!
rasputin1952
(83,497 posts)I told them I'd re-up if I could become a Medic.
Did my second tour as a Combat Medic.
I've taken, and I've saved lives, the paradox still haunts me from time to time.
J_William_Ryan
(2,590 posts)He should remind everyone of Trump.
They’re all reprehensible, wrong, and unfit to hold any public office.
kozar
(3,054 posts)Some people, lived the word.
Its like, a person, with a burger, in their mouth, that looks at the word, hunger.
You don't understand it,till, you have lived it.
kimbutgar
(24,673 posts)They were sexist and made rude comments. I finally figured out how to defeat them by smiling and giving them the silent treatment and only spoke to them if it was necessary. It drove them crazy!
We are in a world of trouble if that guy gets anywhere near the pentagon. And we will see a lot of career type military retiring. Then Putin can step in and overthrow our government.
yellow dahlia
(2,112 posts)I don't see "pretty boy".
madaboutharry
(41,801 posts)And some women who are into that.
I also find men like him creepy.
IA8IT
(6,111 posts)Mike Nelson
(10,528 posts)... part of all this (covered in responses by others above) is that this kind of behavior is now acceptable. Also, Joni Ernst is a complete failure. She promised to castrate male politicians in Washington, if she won... as far as I know, she hasn't castrated a single man. She wanted to cut and "make them squeal." i guess she thinks it's okay to make women squeal, too.
MontanaMama
(24,355 posts)I’m terrified…and as a middle class white woman, I’m probably safe. I fear for my sisters who don’t have my privilege. There are so many women who don’t have our backs.
Martin68
(25,284 posts)further if it is too painful. When my wife and I are watching a movie and it turns out to be a gratuitous splatter fest, we turn it off and watch something else. Adults know their own limitations and deal with them as they are challenged. Leave the room if you can't stand the situation. If it happens at work or another situation where you cannot avoid the person who keeps bringing up extremely uncomfortable subjects, directly state that fact and leave. If it continues, bring it up with a manager or supervisor. If that doesn't work, either leave or take legal action. Take responsibility for your own needs.
58Sunliner
(5,539 posts)Their bodies and lives are at risk. I feel like I have failed a good many people, much as I have tried to contribute to put this country on the right path. I feel like we have to be realistic and realize that they are coming for women at every level. What can we do to support our younger generations?
H2O Man
(76,495 posts)Powerful. Thank you for this.
iemanja
(55,757 posts)The Third Doctor
(428 posts)I've seen lack empathy and are selfish. Her experience is all that matters.
BigDemVoter
(4,605 posts)Laurelin
(721 posts)I'm actually surprised that I'm struggling so much i thought i had dealt with those scars.
I'm scared for my daughters and all women.
BoRaGard
(4,729 posts)
True Blue American
(18,472 posts)Is one of the worst pieces of so called womanhood I have ever seen.
Wasn’t she the one who boasted about cutting the balls off of bulls?
Then in the face of sexual harassment she claimed happened to her, she refused to meet with the victims of a rapist so she could kiss a** to another rapist.
She is sickening a real wet noodle.
mucholderthandirt
(1,418 posts)The entire world has fallen to madness. There's no one coming to help us. The EU is hardly in a position to judge, nor is the UK. All these other countries are electing people just as bad. All of the good people all over the world will suffer, and it's a nightmare that won't end anytime soon.
Except, South Korea may have nipped it in the bud. I can't say for sure, I seldom saw anything about how SK citizens voted. But somehow, they decided not to let their president bring them down. We should think about that.
I fear for all the women who will be abused under this regime. P2025 has plans that are not to our benefit. I'm old, don't much care about myself.
Vinca
(51,832 posts)will fall off the wagon in a couple of weeks and show up at the Pentagon reeking of booze. Hope they interview Ernst after that comes out.
LaMouffette
(2,480 posts)because it's the best way they know how to get what they want: power and money.
akbacchus_BC
(5,813 posts)confirmation hearing, the double standard is sickening. It reminds me of clarence thomas hearing against Anita Hill and the confirmations of the orange menace Supreme Court picks, they all lied and were still believed and got confirmed. This other pos bondi will get confirmed even though she sided with the menace that the 2020 election was stolen. I’m done with these hearings, no point getting my blood pressure up. Rethuglicans are sick pieces of shit.
True Blue American
(18,472 posts)Long winded rant, the Durbin congratulated him. I amd with Micheal Steele that civility is a 2 way street and Trump did not give civility to President Biden..
SupportSanity
(1,321 posts)The magas all in line.
Hitler all over again.
Depressing
And this is just the beginning.