so when I try to Hump them, they won’t run off to New York City and tell me I’m not Allowed to Touch them anymore! Thank you for your attention to this matter!”

All of this tacky shit needs to go.

"Thank you for your attention to this matter."

Works every time.

Now that he's trying to turn it into a replica of Mar-a-Lago (or a French bordello, same difference), it's a "magnificent place". It's amazing what a couple dozen cans of metallic gold Rust-Oleum can do for one's outlook.