Yesterday, during his Cabinet meeting in the White House, Donald Trump had one of those “bless your heart” moments, where he seemed to suddenly make great strides in maaaaaaaaaaybe grasping that Vladimir Putin has been playing him all these years, stroking his ego and his mini-weenus with flowers, praise, and election reacharounds in order to … oh let’s not go that far. He had a moment of maybe grasping that Putin might perhaps not be entirely an honest broker.

He was so angry.

“We get a lot of bullshit thrown at us by Putin, if you wanna know the truth. He’s very nice all the time, but it turns out to be meaningless.”

Whaaaaaat? Tell us more about the most obvious thing in the entire world, Sir! We are strong, burly, have tears in our eyes and are anxiously waiting to hear about your discoveries!

In response, “Tim Onion,” the CEO of The Onion whose real name is Tim Onion, reminded us on Bluesky of something that we all need to remember at least once a week, every time the Trump administration is doing something that’s supposed to be big and bad and scare us: “He is obviously evil, yes, but he is crucially also the biggest mark of all time. He once thought Vince McMahon was dead because he saw his limousine explode on Monday Night Raw.”

Yes. Just the absolute stupidest person God ever shot out of a vagina without two brain cells or a roadmap. My God.

Just before that, Trump said, “I’m not happy with Putin.” Was he going to act on that feeling in any way, asked a reporter? “Well I wouldn’t be telling you! We want to have a little surprise,” he said, like an abject moron.

. . .