Spurious News: Trump Kennedy Center announces 36-month Lee Greenwood - Kid Rock residency!

WASHINGTON (Spurious News Network) -- "The Trump Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, America's finest concert hall, is proud to announce that a 36-month residency featuring two of America's favorite musical artists, Lee Greenwood and Kid Rock, will be opening on January 21, 2026," said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. "Never again will woke anti-American so-called musicians be allowed to enter this hallowed ground."

Paul Williams, the esteemed songwriter who serves as the president of the American Society of Composers, Artists and Publishers (ASCAP), does not believe "anti-wokeness" caused this residency to be formed. "No one else will play the Kennedy Center," said Mr. Williams. "Our membership is almost unanimous in its hatred of Donald Trump - and they refuse to work in a building with his name on it. Michael O'Neill at BMI says he's got the same problem. No one good will play the palace, so Trump's gone to the last two musicians who can stand to be within a hundred feet of him."