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wcmagumba

(5,640 posts)
Mon Dec 22, 2025, 07:34 PM Dec 22

Hi DUers, I'm still sad about recent happenings in the news but better today...Glad you are here...

I was also ghosted by some long time friends (40 plus years) for no apparent reason.

17 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Hi DUers, I'm still sad about recent happenings in the news but better today...Glad you are here... (Original Post) wcmagumba Dec 22 OP
Just wondering....why and how are your friends ghosting you here? OAITW r.2.0 Dec 22 #1
Not here, they are not on DU...Just by texting on phone...I live a few hundred miles from them.... wcmagumba Dec 22 #2
Maybe they lost or broke phone? SheltieLover Dec 22 #3
++1; Tetrachloride Dec 22 #4
Cheer up. My "friends" never reply to emails, so they can't ghost me. usonian Dec 22 #5
Thank-you. I do live about 100ft from the local Senior Rec Center...I haven't used it much... wcmagumba Dec 22 #6
Good luck! usonian Dec 22 #9
I'm sorry you're experiences have led you to think.... electric_blue68 Dec 22 #12
Unfortunately, I'm evidence-based. usonian Dec 22 #14
Then I'm sorry you've currently have lazy friends... electric_blue68 Dec 22 #16
Not the OP. I'll stay anonymous. usonian Dec 23 #17
I'm glad you're here too. Scrivener7 Dec 22 #7
Cheer up! canetoad Dec 22 #8
It's been an extra extra strange year - we're safe here UTUSN Dec 22 #10
Happy Hanukkah or Merry Christmas! surfered Dec 22 #11
Thanks, I hope the same happiness for you and yours... wcmagumba Dec 22 #15
Perhaps they are going through difficulties? electric_blue68 Dec 22 #13

wcmagumba

(5,640 posts)
2. Not here, they are not on DU...Just by texting on phone...I live a few hundred miles from them....
Mon Dec 22, 2025, 07:47 PM
Dec 22

Sorry for the misunderstanding...

usonian

(23,564 posts)
5. Cheer up. My "friends" never reply to emails, so they can't ghost me.
Mon Dec 22, 2025, 08:06 PM
Dec 22

Focus on what you can do.

Control what you can control.

Influence abd encourage those you can influence and encourage.

Follow Indivisible. I post their newsletters even when it means copying links.

I am downsizing and offer stuff to "friends". No reply. I give it to charity.

People are lazy and uncaring. Fuggedabouthem. They are, as we used to say, psychic energy drains. Just do some good, or at least try.

Make new friends. I'm going to, even if it means moving.

wcmagumba

(5,640 posts)
6. Thank-you. I do live about 100ft from the local Senior Rec Center...I haven't used it much...
Mon Dec 22, 2025, 08:56 PM
Dec 22

They have afternoon games (cards and dominoes) and I will start to visit over there. I've always been a loner, never married or any kids. They also get meals on wheels and I checked with the lady in charge a couple of weeks ago and she told me they had no availability...this lady lives a couple of apts from me and I have fixed her internet and tv a couple of times but she don't seem to like me much...hmmm..

usonian

(23,564 posts)
9. Good luck!
Mon Dec 22, 2025, 09:41 PM
Dec 22

I was married 27 years. We gave it a shot.

I moved to the boondocks when we divorced and sold the home. Spectacular location. Friends I though would flock here didn't. So I gave away guest accommodation stuff. Lately, more. "New" friends are 50 miles away. Same deal. Presence is everything.

Senior center is 12 miles away. All redneck married ppl. Our district got redder to make more districts blue.

I do plan to move. Lived near one shore or another all but these 10 years. I will be present. It's still a world of people. Everywhere but here.

Too bad. It's so scenic. People count more (and stores and services )

4 DU members left town. Two families moved. One friend has work elsewhere and is never around. I used to bum rides from him!

I posted some possible ways to help seniors. I'll give the ideas away to younger people.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/118313235

Good friends here.

electric_blue68

(25,929 posts)
12. I'm sorry you're experiences have led you to think....
Mon Dec 22, 2025, 10:15 PM
Dec 22

"People are lazy, and uncaring"

Sure some people might be lazy at times. There's definitely uncaring, mean people out there, too. Leaned that decades before rPesident bastard.

At least in my experience I've know/known many caring people. Very good friends through decades. And received the kindness of strangers during accidents; the rare trips, and falls.Other types of occasions.

usonian

(23,564 posts)
14. Unfortunately, I'm evidence-based.
Mon Dec 22, 2025, 10:40 PM
Dec 22

But others have noticed that this location seems to have a moat around it. People don't visit. Two large cities are 50 miles away, one a bus ride.

It's a tourist town. Grocery is a language lab.

It was different in suburbs. Presence is everything, and I had many great experiences in the neighborhood, vicinity and at work. I worked at a university and even on a sales team. Others too.

Here's a thread on Hacker News. There are caring people. Just not my so-called friends. Lazy bums. I make that 50 mile trip mainly to shop. A handful of stores here, so it's doable.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46236001

443 points is a BIG deal.
I'm in there (anonymously)

I have received a few kindnesses. More often, I have done kindnesses to others.

It will improve when I am "present". These old legs move great, even if younger ones don't.

electric_blue68

(25,929 posts)
16. Then I'm sorry you've currently have lazy friends...
Mon Dec 22, 2025, 11:50 PM
Dec 22

And glad you had other good times. 👍

So on Hacker News was yours the question that got 443 points? Wasn't sure.

Great stories from the Aussies in England, the guy in Taiwan, the guy w no $ at the gas station.

Oh, yeah, I do kindnesses, too.

usonian

(23,564 posts)
17. Not the OP. I'll stay anonymous.
Tue Dec 23, 2025, 12:04 AM
Dec 23

Just one of the repliers.

Proud that I did good for others.

Details via DM.


Hacker News posts that get a lot of points/replies are often polite flame wars. Like DU, it's a heavily moderated site, and that's a big plus.

electric_blue68

(25,929 posts)
13. Perhaps they are going through difficulties?
Mon Dec 22, 2025, 10:37 PM
Dec 22

I have a dear friend of around 46 years (thoough we were out of touch for around 20 yrs, and missed her,but she refound me a few years ago!).
We've been phoning, then she switched to texting. Her younger sister (might be her closest of 3 sibs) suddenly had terrible medical problem of which it's been a slow road to recovery.

But she was still in touch. But I haven't heard from her since late July. I didn't realize it's been that long. : ( I also hope she hadn't gotten sick herself.

I hope your friends will get back in touch!
🤞
And yes, I enjoy your posts.
Enjoy your Holidays as best you can!

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