Oh boy, the Chicago Sun-Times put out a long-form villain origin story of Gregory Bovino, Customs and Border Patrol Commander Op at Large / adjudicated liar and gasser of children / leading invader of California, Chicago, Charlotte, and New Orleans, attempting to answer the question on everyone's minds about the guy: What the fuck went wrong there? by tracing him back to his gel-soaked roots. And it's intriguing and juicy!

. . .

(Bovino, himself of course, refused to comment or participate. You can still cover it anyway, CBS News.)

The Bovino story begins in the organized-crime-plagued village of Aprigliano in Calabria, Italy, in 1909, from which Michele Bovino (he/him) departed for Pennsylvania coal country looking for work as a miner, thanks to President Taft's open borders policy, leaving his wife Luigia and their four kids behind. The US Border Patrol would be founded 15 years later, in 1924, over concerns that Southern and Eastern Europe were not sending their best! But fortunately Michele was already in the country by then, quickly filed papers to become a citizen, changed his name to Michael at some point, and was naturalized in 1927. And then Luigia and the four kids arrived in the US on the SS Giuseppe Verdi.

That calls for a soundtrack!

. . .