Definitely sucks to go through.

Just very happy, you are back!

Hope you are well and taking one day at a time!

I listen , try to sing , the title song, I just end up crying , it just ends up reminding me of LilBit, she was so wild at heart

Koz

but you still have to look for the rainbow

A rainbow without the rain? Nice brain poker

When I sang, and LilBit listened,,
I always sang this, to her

I'm gonna,need some time now

and smile . I know it’s hard.

Listen to this one - the great Ernie Smith - he left this for us

I don't have a clue what you're talking about..

keep getting better.. hope you live at least as long as me and that other guy.

Good picture on your GFM page.. my second son is a Douglas, and a finer person you'll never meet.

To my face, the name Douglas, I've always hated, for some reason, I have 2 brothers, Steven and David
So 1 day I was a bit bored and googled what does the name , David, mean? Of course it's biblical and King David,
Did the same for Steven, it refers to the crown,
And then I typed in Douglas and it said

From the dark water,,

Seriously!! Now I know why I hate my name

always loved that name. When my second son was born I had only a girl's name in mind but he just didn't look like a Deborah..haha.. After 3 days I settled on Douglas, his father's choice. but my mom insisted his middle name be Ernest, after my dad.
Someone once asked mom if her grandson was named after "the great" Douglas MacArthur. My parents were both Marines and MacArthur was no hero to Marines. Mom was so horrified to hear that she started calling her grandson "Ernie" She was the only one who ever did and he loved it..they had a specal bond.

All the best Koz.. hope you continue to heal and get stronger.

Pls don’t be hard on yourself. You’ve been through a lot. It will get better.

This place is family and we're here for each other. I have some experience with stroke effects as my late husband had a nasty one back in '96. Anger? Please. Who wouldn't be? So stop worrying about everything except you getting better.

One ask! Do your physical therapy. My Mike COULD have had a total complete recovery, except his stubborness came out in spades, and he convinced himself everything would come back on its own. Once he started walking, he wouldn't do anything else. Work that therapy!!

Exercises before I I even have breakfast, I do extra exercises before I sleep , I have a leaded dog thunder blanket and , before I fall asleep I put that on me and do 50 heel slides with each leg. Not an PT approved exercise, but it make my legs stronger.

I know it's not easy.

A spinal cord injury left me in the same state, suddenly always having to walk with a cane or walker and barely able to stand up. Not to even mention the chronic pain. It’s a hard change to suddenly have to become acclimated to that way of life. Sometimes the anger is just a relief to the frustration of it all. I know, and wish you the best in your recovery.

I posted that while in hosp and I lost some control over my finances,, I'm through that now, and actually, closed that fundraiser.

Koz

Nobody can blame you for being pissed off sometimes. But, I think being aware of how it affects others around you is an impressive life achievement. I didn't read anything mean from your posts. If you are angry, you are not alone here.
Keep up the good healing work, but eat more ice cream. 😂

Eat more ice cream!!

And may your recovery show progress quickly.

Was angry just like you. Had to stop taking it out on the world, because no one caused what happened back then, except me. Just went about trying to get better, both in the physical and especially the mental. Today, am much....much better with the attitude. Some of my motor skills aren't what they use to be but can go about and get things done on my own.

Please listen to your physical therapist. He/she can get you going in a very positive way.

Take care

My husband and I had never had a fight in our 18 years. Never raised our voices. I had never been anything but mildly annoyed on our worst days, and we've travelled together.

I found myself angry and yelling at him a month or so after the stroke.

And the look on his face made it terribly clear that something inside me was off and he was frightened for me. The Dr put me in counseling and soon after I had a PTSD diagnosis (in several areas). The stroke had taken down all those defenses we humans build up to get through crappy times and it was all hitting me at once. Bad stuff.

I've responded well, have not yelled at my husband again (unless he is upstairs and I'm asking if he wants a snack or something) and have come to accept that I am different now but in a way I can live with.

Forgive yourself, my friend. There is some clarity to be found as you figure out the new you.

Life just put a mountain in front of you. Damnit. Now you have to choose--sit or start climbing. But here is the deal, as you climb, you get stronger, and as you get stronger you will claw back parts of your life and in that comes small victories, medium victories and giant ones and you will celebrate again. Last month I added up some numbers in my head. It was the first time I've been able to do that since the stroke. And, just like that, this flood of relief and confidence hits as another part of myself clicks back into place.

Good luck on that journey.

Why are you apologizing for only this one in particular?

I didn't, apologize to a specific post, I apologized for my anger.
Which, was caused by my stroke and,
Can you? Tell me, where I stated a specific post?

And I made an apology, why are you, bringing this up?

you has them

4 months ago , I was sitting in the same chair I'm in right now, and didn't feel right. A bit of a FF , I spent the next 4 months, learning to walk again, talk again, and after being carried out of this chair,
I walked back to this chair.
And through my journey, I made 1 promise to myself,
Be better, tomorrow.

And , I am better, not physically but mentally, I'm better,
Why?
Im simply alive, after being clinically dead.

So reply away , at my posts,
I'm
Still

Just, Koz

All of us have our "bad" days.

A little over 20 years ago, I was in a vehicle wreck -- not my fault! -- and had my back crushed. It took lots of surgery and 2.5 years of PT until I could walk pretty safely again. My primary doctor still scolds me for not always using a cane or walking stick. My balance has not been very good, and I fall a few times per year.

Then, a decade ago, returning after being at the Golden Gloves for a few days, my large dogs knocked me over, and I hit the back of my skull on the edge of the island in the kitchen. I was out cold, despite two dogs licking my face. Luckily, my son saw what happened, and came in to pick me up. I waited the required three days that Irish males must, hoping things would improve. They didn't. So my summer vacation was spent in the ER and ICU, as I had a blood pool on the brain and "dead brain matter." For over two years, I had real problems with facial recognition, which was frustrating.

Hence, for over two decades here, I have had episodes of being a jackass. It happens!

Once you're part of us, you're part of us. We don't throw "ours" to the wolves. DU is home, and it's your home, too.

I hope you continue to recover well and that only good things come your way.

Feel better.

And sometimes there’s just a need to VENT, DAMMIT!!!

I don’t think you could find a more loving, patient, supportive, and experienced bunch to vent TO, than you find all over this site. Seems to me, every one of us, whether in THIS community or other ones, has had rough stuff to get through, and/or somehow come to terms with. If you’re currently living and breathing, you’ve VERY likely been through at least a “thing” or two.

And you're either marginally or absolutly not in control, which is F'ing scary.

Good luck in your healing.

And we just had a thread a couple of days ago asking how you were as you din't post since 4/22. Just so you know we are rooting for you here.

Forgive yourself first. Life's short. We are all prone to everything everone has been through on this board.
Good luck.
Keep posting when you can.