Mitch's whereabouts revealed. (SATIRE)

Knowing that his days are limited, Mitch has volunteered to steal the plutonium from all of Iran's nuclear facilicies.

Far from feeble, this has meant traveling long distances on foot, breaking into nuclear facilities and grabbing the plutonium from "hot" reactor cores, to carry safely back to the United States, swimming under the waters of the Straight of Hormuz with only a snorkel.



The plutonium will be placed in safe storage at Fort Knox (of course) and a location has been designated for it.



Upon his return, Mitch will serve both as Senator and nightlight for the Senate chambers.