China is shutting down their international adoptions effective immediately. If you a currently waiting anywhere in the adoption process you just received some really painful news. ☹️

Foreign adoptions have always been problematic.

which is why foreigners like Americans were allowed to adopt unwanted Chinese girls.

China stopped its one child program a long time ago. They are now facing an aging population problem like just about every other developed society.

We have NEVER gone thru a more exhaustive exhilarating experience in our lives. Entire process took over
1 1/2 years of paperwork checked-double checked, validated, packaged, sent from our adoption agency to our Consulate in Guangzhou then to the Chinese adoption agency.
We received notification in mid November, left the US on 12/13, left China Xmas day, arrived US Xmas day. All said fairly smooth procedure. Just long but safely done. ANY type of shenanigans worked outta the process, ANY shenanigans mentioned in article HAD to have had unsafe people on both ends of the process.

Did you have to get her to go though a naturalization process?

The ways things are nowadays I could see dictator old don adding foreign adoptees to his list to be deported.

Adoption should be abolished. It's legal human trafficking. I was purchased. Want to hear about the trauma it's caused me my entire life? Ask any adoptee who's come out of the Fog.

In the meantime, No Child should be taken away from their country, their culture, their language. So good for China. It's a start.

If you are not adopted yourself, you don't have a dog in this hunt.

my cousin and his wife. She said she had a very happy adoption and loving parents. She then got on my case because it was insulting to my cousins who I am close with.
I have five adopted cousins. (Second cousins) There are fertility issues in that part of the family.

At the moment, I'm fried from 105° temperatures outside. Going to put a whole bunch of resources in this thread. And maybe I'll come back later and try to repeat what I just lost. I don't know how many times I've done that!

I've read some of the horror stories in a DNA group that I'm in. So I responded to Rep Tony Gonzales (R) who was touting adoption when the Dobbs case was making it's way through the Supreme Court. I responded to his post. My cousins live in another state and somehow it popped up in her feed that I had responded to his post. (She doesn't follow him etc.. Never known her to be political etc etc) Anyway, she then responded to my comment on his FB page... Then I also respond: "Well this guy is a local congressman and yada, yada, yada"

Anyway, my response to him fell flat....He probably ended up looking good. I ended up with egg on my face.

I was trying to score points and a cousin pops up out of nowhere...nowhere...She was obviously triggered by my response. I would have never created an original post like that, but I really was mad about the Dobbs case etc etc and Gonzales just had to throw out, "Adoption is an option" or something like that...... My response was all about the craziness of Dobbs etc etc etc....

We are told, from the moment we are able to understand language, that we were 'special, chosen, lucky to have a family.' And everyone, and I do mean everyone, praises the adoptive parents for what they have done.

We are not allowed to speak up and tell anyone that we are not happy. For one thing, we are terrified to do so. We've already been rejected once. By our birth mothers. So we live in a constant state of fear of being rejected again, by anyone and everyone. So we keep quiet, never telling anyone our inner feelings, and we suffer. Lots of adoptees never look inward, because if they did, the pain is unimaginable.

And we are supposed to be eternally grateful to have been saved. Saved? I was taken from my mother. That's not being saved. That's destroying my life.

I do know adoptees who were lucky enough to be adopted by people who actually knew what they were supposed to do. My adoptive parents thought it was all about providing the things we need in life, such as a roof over our head, food on the table, clothes on our backs. They had no idea how to emotionally parent a child.

Even if you are lucky enough to get adoptive parents who know what to do, they can't fix what's inside of us adoptees. It can never be fixed, even if you meet your birth parents and establish a relationship with them. The only thing that could fix it would be to go back in time and undo the adoption. And that's impossible.

For a lot of adoptees, our experience is that our adoptive parents expect us to be mini-versions of them. One, or both parents, are upset that they cannot have biological children. They see that as their own failure. So they do everything they can to turn us into them. But we are not them. We are our birth parents. We have their DNA. Inwardly, our adoptive parents know this, and it makes them angry. So they try to do whatever they can to crush our spirit, including trying to beat it out of us, physically, as well as emotionally.

Heaven forbid us adopted kids try to speak up. No one wants to listen to us. So we turn into people pleasers. We have to do everything we can to make everyone around us happy, to guarantee that no one else will leave us. We live in an emotional nightmare. Even adoptees who say they had a happy life, I guarantee you they have not looked inside themselves.

Putting all teen moms in homes for unwed mothers is wrong, but there are cases where adoption is the best option. Banning adoption is not a solution. Sharing DNA does not make someone a parent. Yes, there are plenty of young women who were forced to relinquish their infants, but there are also those who are not suited for and even dangerous for parenting.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Gabriel_Fernandez

https://charleyproject.org/case/nicholas-andrew-plaza

Man sentenced to 40 years for death of Baby King Jay Davila
https://www.bexar.org/CivicAlerts.aspx?AID=732#:~:text=This%20morning%2C%20a%20man%20accused,boy%20missing%20January%204%2C%202019.

S.A. woman indicted on charges she caused her child's death
https://www.bexar.org/CivicAlerts.aspx?AID=906


Jury sentences SA mother to life in prison for death of her 4-year-old daughter
https://www.bexar.org/CivicAlerts.aspx?AID=944

Mom claims she threw him in a dumpster because dad was gonna get custody
https://www.oxygen.com/crime-news/what-happened-to-baby-gabriel-johnson

https://www.tpr.org/criminal-justice/2024-03-15/mother-of-slain-san-antonio-child-testifies-in-abuse-death-case

All but one of these cases are local and recent. (Except baby Gabriel was in 2010)

I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but it doesn't mean adoption should be banned. Because there were baby brokers in the past doesn't mean that all women who give birth should raise their kids.

I agree with that. However, children should be kept in their family. If not their immediate family, then their extended family.

Adoption should only be used as the very last resort.

All anyone had to do in my birth mother's case was to suggest that she seek out a lawyer. Instead, a predatory OBGYN told her that he had the perfect solution for her. She could give up her child to one of his other patients who couldn't have one. She was backed into a corner, by her abusive ex-husband, (not my birth father,) and this doctor.

She was terrified, and in that moment, she agreed to give me up. And then she regretted it every day of her life. As did I.

It took her a few years to get the abusive ex-husband totally out of her life, and the lives of my half siblings. If only someone had suggested that she let one of her brothers or sisters raise me until she could bring me safely back into the family.

The goal should always be to keep the child with their immediate, or extended family. If people truly cared about children, they would help our birth mothers to get through addiction, to get away from an abusive partner, whatever it takes to keep the family unit together. An extended family is better than never being a part of your family at all.

There are better ways to do this for us adoptees. But the adoption industry will do whatever it can to make sure that adoption is NEVER the last resort.

No 6-year-old child should ever be found sitting on a porch, crying and begging out loud for their real mother to come and get them and take them home. That was me. I'm 68 years old. If you think it doesn't hurt me as bad right now as it did when I was 6 years old, you're wrong.

Grandma gets tired....

Yep predatory OB/Gyns are real, but so are a few bad parents. In many cases they came from bad parents themselves.

Adoptees shouldn't be called adoptees.

We are domestic infant supplies. Commodities. Disposable. Available for purchase. In fact, that's the only way you can get one of us. Even if all someone is doing is paying the hospital bill, you are purchasing a human being. Legal human trafficking.

No one should listen to adoptee's voices. How in the world could we know what we are talking about? We only live the experience. No one else does, but our voices should not be listened to.

Everyone should pay attention to the fairy tale. That's the only thing that counts. The fairy tale that the adoption industry feeds to every single person within hearing distance.

As for adoptees wanting to abolish adoption, and wanting to make sure that if we can't live with our birth parent/parents, at least let us live with an extended family member? Well, it sounds like we are an inconvenience. Even though we are human beings. Like I said, disposable commodities for sale.

And heaven forbid anyone pay attention to this:

"In general, there is a misconception in conventional attitudes that young children cannot and will not remember traumas experienced in their first few years of life. It is commonly believed that children “removed at birth may be spared the impact of ACES” (Anthony, Paine & Shelton, 2019) and although adoptions that take place at an earlier age are often associated with better outcomes (Perry, Hambrick & Perry, 2014), adoptees who experience relinquishment at all ages are vastly overrepresented in mental health and substance abuse clinics, are at higher risk for mood disorders, mental health issues, and are four times more likely to commit suicide than non-adoptees (Sunderland, 2019). Adoptees are an unrecognized marginalized group deserving of specialized services that are currently lacking. This article strives to debunk the myth that even when placed into the best of circumstances, adoptees separated from their birth mothers in early life face challenges with long lasting developmental, emotional, and behavioral consequences."

The entire article is worth reading, and should be required reading for every adult.

https://visiblemagazine.com/the-unrecognized-developmental-trauma-of-early-relinquishment-in-adoption/

Adoptees are the one class of people that has absolutely no voice. Absolutely no control over what happens to us. Absolutely no right to know who we really are.

But why the heck should anyone care about us? As long as we don't inconvenience anyone else, we're supposed to shut up and be grateful that other people decided our lives weren't worth anything, that our emotional health wasn't worth anything. And by all means, our lived experience isn't worth anything.

The adoption industry wants it that way. So do their conservative supporters who want to return us to the Baby Scoop Era.

I am sorry for what your first mother went through. Very few birth mothers actually wanted to give up their children. We should be doing more as a society to protect expectant mothers from coercion.

I've just spent the past two hours in a town hall meeting, discussing the murder of foster care and adoptive children by their adoptive parents. So I'm a bit of a wreck.

You have no idea how much your words mean to me right now.

My husband is adopted. The only money that was exchanged was to the hospital to pay for the birth.

We've now met his birthmother and birthfather (they were never together; it was a one-night stand when they were teenagers in 1959). He tells me often that he is so glad that neither of them raised him.

I don't think it's traumatic or a nightmare for all adoptees.

Start with birth, and the separation of infant and mother.

https://visiblemagazine.com/the-unrecognized-developmental-trauma-of-early-relinquishment-in-adoption/

What adoptees go through while growing up.



What birth mothers go through.



Intercountry adoption.



Adoptees stories, website that leads to podcast.

https://www.adoptionthemakingofme.com/

Interview with intercountry adoptee, also happens to be an adoption trauma therapist. Pretty much explains everything.

It is one of the most vile ideas that ever came down the pike. Not just because children resulting from these arrangements are treated as commodities, but "surrogacy" is actually reproductive prostitution primarily of poor women, things to be bought and sold by the rich.

Parenthood is not a right. People need to understand that.

'Commodities' is exactly what we are.
The adoption industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. The surrogacy industry is going to go into much higher amounts monetarily.

It never ceases to amaze me how no one wants to hear from adoptees, the people actually having this lived experience. They only want to listen to the adoption agencies.

We are not the solution to someone's infertility.

It is tomorrow morning, so it's a bit of a late notice. It's free, and it's on Zoom.

These are underreported crimes against foster care and adopted children. They are being murdered by their adoptive parents. Adoptees seem to be the only people trying to get the word out. No one else seems to care. I've attended three of the five Town Halls that they've had so far. If you do decide to attend, just know that you're going to hear things you really don't want to hear. But if those of us who care don't listen, who will?

Town Hall Meeting: True Crimes of Foster Care and Adoption

Date: Sat, Sep 7 • 9:00 AM PDT

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/town-hall-meeting-true-crimes-of-foster-care-and-adoption-tickets-1002145412907

A single unmarried woman having a child doesn't bring "shame" on the family, like it used to.

We should see this as a good sign.

She and her husband wanted to start a family, but she has a condition called "retinitis pigmentosa". She was already legally blind and couldn't drive. They disease is inheritable and she didn't want to take the chance that she would pass it on to a biological child.

She and her husband applied to adopt in the US, but were denied because she was going blind. She would have been free to have a biological child, of course. So their only option was to adopt internationally. They adopted a little girl from China, and they all lived happily ever after.

Stop paying China for selling babies. Stop paying anyone for selling babies. Adoption is nothing but a for profit business. Anyone who says there are no adoptable children residing is the United States is full of excrement. Repeat after me - you do *NOT* have to actually give birth to be a parent. You do *NOT* have to buy an infant/newborn (and be of a particular "religion" ) to be a parent. Truth be told, you do *NOT* have to be a parent at all. Stop drinking the Kool-Aid.