Jeff Tiedrich - this week in stupid: July 13 edition

monday: a conspiracy of kooks, part one

Republicans never tire of cooking up the batshittiest conspiracy theories imaginable. check out their latest overheated fever-swamp dream: the World Economic Forum is censoring conservative voices on social media. I shit you not, these low-wattage glue-huffers actually believe this.

naturally, House Republicans have responded to this imaginary crisis by doing what they do best: wasting everyone’s time on a series of pointless hearings. they dragged a bunch of industry leaders down to the Capitol and harangued them with the dumbest fucking questions ever asked. exhibit a: Rep. Michael Rulli, Republican of Ohio:

“my family’s owned grocery stores since 1917, we have about 45,000 SKUs. a product I know really well, growing up, my mom favored Dove Soap. I don’t think Dove Soap has been in my house for over fifteen years. we use Irish Spring now, and I was trying to think to myself, ‘when is the last time I saw a Dove Soap ad?’ I am a conservative family, and I look at a lot of different outlets, whether it’s online or whether it’s TV or radio or everything you can imagine. I haven’t heard a Dove Soap ad in at least ten to fifteen to twenty years. so if I was responsible to my shareholders, and I had to go there and I had to answer to them, if I’m doing the best job possible, for your words, the protection of the brand, you’re using these extreme examples of situations where the brand might be associated with a freak situation versus a normal family of kids. we never see a Dove Soap ad.”

what — and I cannot put too fine a point on this — the fuck? Congressman Goofus here hasn’t seen a Dove Soap ad since who knows when, and that’s all the proof anyone needs that … that what? oh my god, now I have to lie down in a dark room until the veins in my forehead stop throbbing.

https://www.jefftiedrich.com/p/this-week-in-stupid-july-13-edition