Little Donny Convict is a Very Special Boy who gets to do anything he wants. he can lie. he can cheat. he can steal.

your puny laws don’t apply to Donny. his pals on the Supreme Court have given him Special Boy Immunity to crime all he wants. just call it an official act and poof! Judge Fangirl down in Florida will make it all go away. did Donny swindle you, or rape you? good luck suing. even if you win, just try collecting. Donny’s lawyers will make sure that shit gets tied up in court for years,

Donny also gets to say whatever he wants, because the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media have abdicated their role in holding Donny to account. Donny can make shit up, and the press will explain that he’s just misspeaking. conversely, he can tell the scary truth, and the press will still explain that hey, Donny didn’t mean what he said.

Donny can also blurt the quiet part out loud. here he is on Friday night, speaking to a gathering of christofascist zealots.


“and again, Christians, get out and vote. just this time. you won’t have to do it any more, four more years, you know what? it’ll be fixed, it’ll be fine. you won’t have to vote any more, my beautiful Christians. I love you Christians, I’m not Christian, I love you. get you, you gotta get out and vote. in four years, you don’t have to vote again. we’ll have it fixed so good, you’re not gonna have to vote.”

holy fuckballs, did Donny just promise to end elections? it sure sounded like it. I’ll bet the press was all over that shit. oh no wait, they weren’t — because Donny is a Very Special Boy who always gets the benefit of the doubt.