imagine you’re one of Donny Convict’s dead-ender cultists. you’re MAGA to the core. you’ve got all the merch. there’s the red hat that immediately identifies you as a total fucking moron from a thousand yards away. your house — covered with homemade TRUMP banners — is the eyesore of the neighborhood.

your rusting pickup truck badly needs a new set of tires, but you’ve spent that money on the two dozen TRUMP flags festooned all over it — and oh look, you’ve got the obligatory ‘Joe Biden hogtied’ decal across the tailgate. so charming!

you’ve gone out in public wearing “real men wear diapers” adult diapers in solidarity with the overgrown man-baby who regularly shits himself. when Dear Leader got his magically-regrown ear shot all to pieces, you showed your support by taping a maxi-pad over your own ear.

so, after all that, what do you do for an encore? this, apparently.



yes, those are jizz cups. specifically, they are sperm sample cups with Couchfuck McGee’s vapid face plastered on them, bearing the words “J.D. Vance Full Family Kit.” what in the jewel-encrusted small-batch artisanal fuck is going on here?