the Democratic National Convention was a roaring success. Dems are riding high. they’re raising all the money. Kamala and Tim are rockstars right now. they’re crossing the country and speaking to ecstatic crowds in one packed arena after another.

meanwhile, the wheels are continuing to come off elderly golfer Donny Convict’s moribund campaign. his panicked advisors are begging him to be less of a crazypants and to try to stay on message. keep dreaming, Team Trump.

Donny’s running mate, Couchfuck McGee, is a repellent misogynist who can’t manage to fake one genuine human emotion. and now Bobby Brainworms Junior has thrown his support to Donny — and Couchfuck has to be eyeing Bobby nervously.

with all this going on, the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media have an important message they want to share with the Dems: what are you doing, being happy? don’t you realize how fucked you are? what is wrong with you, Kamala? don’t you know that joy is not a strategy?