Editorials & Other Articles

Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin

(134,226 posts) Wed Feb 18, 2026, 02:44 PM 15 hrs ago

Borowitz - Kristi Noem Keeps Losing Things

Should the person in charge of homeland security be able to secure her own belongings?

I only ask because our DHS secretary, Kristi Noem, keeps losing stuff.

This disturbing pattern first emerged last April, when Noem’s Gucci bag was stolen out from under her chair while she was dining at Capital Burger in Washington, DC. In a cruel irony for the patron saint of ICE agents, the thief was wearing a mask.

The contents of her bag included keys, passport, DHS badge, and $3000 in currency. It was unclear why Kristi was carrying so much cash, unless she had after-dinner plans to bribe Tom Homan.

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/kristi-noem-keeps-losing-her-shit

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Borowitz - Kristi Noem Keeps Losing Things (Original Post) Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin 15 hrs ago OP

Kristi seems to be aware that she has a problem. Brother Buzz 14 hrs ago #1

Brother Buzz

(39,768 posts)

1. Kristi seems to be aware that she has a problem.

Reply to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Wed Feb 18, 2026, 02:54 PM

14 hrs ago

Kristi seems to be aware that she has a problem. She’s started wearing things that are too big to lose, like her giant cowboy hat. But once a trend like this gets going, it’s hard to stop. She’s already lost a purse, a blanket, and a pilot. With any luck, the next thing she’ll lose is her job.

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