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The Borowitz Report: Trump Turns Eighty But Claims He Has Brain of Four-year-old
Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-turns-eighty-but-claims-he
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Taking his milestone birthday in stride, on Sunday Donald J. Trump told reporters, “I may be eighty, but I have the brain of a four-year-old.”
“People who think I’m too old should take a look at this UFC fight,” he argued. “That’s an idea that could only come from a four-year-old’s mind.”
Trump said his self-assessment was corroborated by doctors at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, who told him at his most recent exam that his cognition had scored at a four-year-old level.
In the first official act of his ninth decade, the president renamed RFK Jr. “The Donald J. Trump Robert F. Kennedy Junior.”
- short article, no more at link -
“People who think I’m too old should take a look at this UFC fight,” he argued. “That’s an idea that could only come from a four-year-old’s mind.”
Trump said his self-assessment was corroborated by doctors at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, who told him at his most recent exam that his cognition had scored at a four-year-old level.
In the first official act of his ninth decade, the president renamed RFK Jr. “The Donald J. Trump Robert F. Kennedy Junior.”
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