My best friend's 17 year old
son died by suicide on 1/2/21. He was adopted when he was six months old from Napal.
My friend met her life partner (then later her wife) when he (I'll just use the name Logan) was 18 months old. They were the BEST parents I've ever seen.
They have been absolutely extraordinary in their handling of this horrific situation. I've been with them to many, many of the support group gatherings, walks, conferences, YouTube zooms, and other activities.
I'm now house sitting for them while they're on a vacation they've been planning a long time (out of the country). There are pictures of Logan all over because...... of course there would be. My problem....When I walk into the kitchen there's a bigger than average picture of him cooking. I feel like a knife cuts through my heart when I see it.
His G.P.A. was 4.6 and he wasn't sure what he wanted to do but being a chef was on his list. This happened during his Junior year of high school and in the middle of COVID. There were NO red flags...No drugs, alcohol, etc. We feel it must have been a depression no one knew he even had. Also, he was really sick of his classes on Zoom.
When I see the pictures of him, I wish I could think of the happy times but I just feel intense sadness. I think I'll turn the one picture over.......the one in the kitchen. I just need to remember to turn it back before they get home..
I'm wondering if there will come a time when I can look at his photos and not feel sad....
= new reply since forum marked as read
...a scuba diving adventure gone awry. He was only 23.
He was studying photography at the time. For many, many years, I could look at pictures taken by him, but not at pictures of him. Eventually, I did put out one photo of the 2 of us, taken in Trafalgar Square while we were feeding the pigeons. It's still difficult to look at that picture, and pretty much all of the family photos that show him.
Wishing you and your friends strength and serenity.
I'm so sorry to hear about your only sibling. 
.
I don't think we get "over" these things or even get "through" them (IMHO). But time does help. I lost my beloved father in a car wreck when I was 12 ( 54 years ago) and I truly feel happy and loving thoughts. His pictures don't make me cry....
I'm so sorry that you don't have others' to share memories with. That's got to be really hard....
I'm very fortunate that I have one sibling left (the other two have passed) and she and I still talk about our Dad, the wonder that he was, and how lucky we were to have had him while we did.
She's eight years older than I so our memories are different. We remember our parents were against the Vietnam War and very progressive. My brother was 10 years older than I and was draft age. My parents along with my brother figured out the best way for him not to get drafted (he was a full-time college student and was in the Army Reserves - which for some reason prevented him from getting drafted at the time).
He was the kind of dad you see on T.V. shows and don't believe they actually exist. He wasn't a lawyer but I think of him as an Atticus Finch....
Thank you..
It's a deep, deep sadness...
how can you close on someone u love . grrr.
i lost my mom in 2003 and i miss her still. gah.
fir thee.
I agree 100%..
Even the concept of having "closure" doesn't make sense...
Well put....Thank you...
I'm sorry to hear about your neighbor's son. Suicide is so tragically layered. I've learned more about it than I could ever have imagined - so have they.
I ended up putting a really large roll of paper towels in front of the big photo so I don't see it every time I walk into the kitchen. It's REALLY helping....
That's beautiful.....Thank you....