Through this.

If the relative is addicted and/or has mental issues and has refused to get any help, has stolen from you already or abused you and is not trying to get their lives together, just want to use you until you are used up.

That's my son and what I'm dealing with. He may be homeless soon, but he can't come here and there's no place he will go to for help. He is penniless and has no insurance. Ir breaks my heart in pieces, but I can't help him because he just uses that to hurt us because he hates himself. He has severe issues, hears negative voices in his head all the time, meth has broken him and me.

I am trying to recover, going to Naranon Family. It's helping, but right now is a bad time because my son is trying to provoke me by negative texts.

I guess you could say the asker has mental-health problems. Not violent and helped the askee with things in the past. Askee will drive miles and hours out of their way to visit "friends".

No addictions. Basically a people-pleasing asshole, agreeable to a fault. Educated, tax-paying citizen. Never in trouble with the law.

Sorry you're going through that tho.

Several decades ago we went thru a similar situation with our son. Fortunately I was going to Alanon at the time for another family member and had seen firsthand how these situations progressed (or regressed), so I did the hardest thing I had ever done and told my son he could not live with us any longer. He was jolted into cleaning up his act, and is now doing quite well with a wife and son and a very stable, happy life. He thanks me every Mother's Day for kicking his butt out back then.
Stick with your Naranon group. I will happily say that Alanon saved me and our family by helping me break old patterns.

And if you do so, I'd only state that compassion has always been an unwavering direction in your life, and where you find it intentionally lacking you've learned to remove yourself from that focus.

And I have problems. I'm not a fun person anymore. Totally mortified now. Had surgery and needed some help. New boss, busy job. I think I'm on the shitlist for not researching dual citizenship. Been depressed and anxious the last three years.

Literally went from seemingly best friend to , I guess drippy pain in the ass. Still stunned at the response

Whats funny is, she'll do anything for her friend s. Travel any distance. Pay big bucks to visit them. But they have Ph.Ds and i just have a master's. She's now rude and impatient with me. I did not research dual citizenship. That's my failing. I'm assuming Im now the sit-on-my-ass disabled person. And to some extent I am.

One thing I did bc I was freaking out was calling her when my partner was drunk on the floor. I'm an ACOA so its very triggering for me. She seemed mad. I've noticed a change of attitude towards me over the last few yrs, since her busy job manifested. I'm sorry I called. I'm pretty embarrassed.

Low contact.

I'm 65, and live comfortably, but I'm far from rich.

Friends and relatives come to me for help with absurd frequently, because I'm assertive and know how to fix problems.

On the rare occasions when I need help from someone whom I've helped hundreds of times, and I don't even receive encouragement, let alone actual assistance, they are essentially gone from my life.

The minute I feel taken advantage of, without any reciprocation, I'm gone. I don't care if they are family or long time friends.

Have a troubled domestic situation that's messy and no one likes that. She has a super- busy job. All this time, I thought how lucky I am to have someone in my corner! After everything we have been through, I have a great relationship nutured over decades.

One sticking point is my ancient, unreliable car. I don't trust it to drive 2 hrs. She has a fancy new car. Anyway, waking up to reality. My jaw treatment is a drag, too. I need support now and ppl who need support are a pain. FWIW, I don't bother her with a lot. But, again, messy. My self-esteem is in the toilet. My jaw hurts.

I'm an imposition.

a lot of people with nice houses and good salaries can still be in debt

She has a maid and flies around the country and world.

Retiring 62. Financial planner says she's on course. Bragged about her salary. Of course who knows

she just sounds like a fucking asshole

She one time did offer to get me a hotel room. But, she doesn't seem to realize we're living very different lives. Old shitty cars are stressful.