Story time. I may have gone a little overboard today.

This will be a rambling post that I would like to share. It's stupid, so please don't get mad at me if you choose to read this stupid post.

I'm feeling about 90% better since my hospital stay. I've taken quite a long tolerance break from weed gummies since I've been on so many other medications, but now I decided to eat a few of them tonight about an hour ago, so I hope I can get through this post before I fall asleep.

When I was in the hospital, my wife came to visit me. I was very doped up on all kinds of pain meds while she was there. When I'm like that, I get much more verbose than usual and just ramble and crack jokes like an idiot. I totally lose any filter I may normally have. I call people on my contact list and just talk shit, and then I forget what the hell I said to them.

So my wife was there visiting me. She was dressed up nice, and I'm laying there in my hospital gown.

A specialist came in that I never met before. Let me tell you, this woman doctor was impressive as hell. EXTREMELY intelligent, very beautiful, warm, friendly, and with an absolutely perfect and reassuring bedside manner. She started having a conversation with us, and I started rambling about something. I have no idea what I said, but she started laughing hysterically. She gave my wife one of those "OMG WTF" looks, and my wife just said "I won't be able to stop him. It's the pain meds". The doctor put her hand on my arm and said "You're funny"! And I broke into that Goodfellas routine "How am I funny? Like I'm a clown? I'm here to amuse you"? She understood the reference, and continued laughing.

Things got serious later in the conversation, and my wife admonished me for something the doctor told me I needed to do, but was reluctant to". She told the doctor "Don't worry, he WILL do it".

The doctor spent a ridiculous amount of time with us. When she left, she patted my arm and gave my wife a big hug, and told her something like "you're tremendous, and I love the way you communicate. I know you will take good care of him".

This of course made my wife feel very good, and she has been bringing up what the doctor said to her quite a bit since I've been out of the hospital.

We both went to see this doctor as a follow-up today. She came in the room and gave us both full body hugs. She's amazing. 35 minute visit. I had my game face on and was on my best and friendliest good behavior. Best doctor's visit ever. Best doctor ever. Absolutely amazing.

A few hours after we got home from the visit, my wife asked me if the doctor's notes were up yet on the portal. I called them up on the PC, and my wife said "read them to me". She was sitting across the room. and again, remember my wife has been going on and on about how the doctor complimented her, for days.

So I started reading her the doctor's after visit summary.

Me: Luckycharms is a very pleasant, well-developed 66 year old male.

Me to wife: Um, did you hear that? She said I was VERY pleasant. Not just pleasant, but VERY pleasant. How come you never tell me I'm pleasant? I don't think you've ever said I was pleasant, let alone VERY pleasant. You heard me read that, right? She said i was VERY...

Her: Please shut the hell up and keep reading.

Me: I continued to read through her notes. Got toward the end, it said something like "blood pressure was taken in left arm with a long cuff".

Me: Did you catch that? She said "long". How come you never call me "long"? I've never heard you call me "long". You know what she's trying to say here don't you? She had to type "long cuff" but she was thinking "MY GOD, HIS TRICEPS ARE FREAKING MASSIVE". That's really what she was trying to say. How come you never compliment me like that? You never call me "long", you never compliment my massive triceps, you never...

She let out a big sigh, rolled her eyes and said "That's it. I'll read the rest of it tomorrow, and she walked out of the room. As she left she yelled "YOU'RE FREAKING INSUFFERABLE!

I simply responded by saying...No, I'm VERY freaking insufferable. See? You never compliment me. You said I was insufferable. Why can't you compliment me for once and say the word VERY? I'm insufferable is kind of a weak compliment. You could have said I'm VERY insufferable, but you didn't...

She slammed the door and went out on the front porch.

Now she's pretending she's mad at me, but she starts laughing when she looks at me.

This may all sound silly gentlemen, but banter like this is what keeps you married for decades without killing each other.

Of course, I'm probably wrong. She's probably laughing tonight because she's going to serve me divorce papers tomorrow.

i'm sorry if you read this to the end. I'm very sorry. VERY sorry.