"Sir, you don't part a Mohawk."

In honor of Veteran's Day...

When I was at West Fort Hood, TX, in 1985 the airfield had to be guarded around the clock, and of course the Army being the Army required us to do a full-blown guard mount. Basically, you have an in-ranks inspection by the Officer of the Day to be sure you looked military enough to stand on a ramp and make sure airplanes don't escape. We always called one more person than we needed, and the sharpest soldier at guard mount was named the Supernumerary and got to go home for the evening.

Well...this one guard mount we had, the Officer of the Day was an OV-1D Mohawk pilot.



They fly nearly as good as they look.

Anyway, the Officer of the Day was supposed to ask us questions to see how militarily knowledgeable we were. This lieutenant, who was known in 504th Group for his fine sense of humor, asked two questions about general soldiering plus "How many parts are in a Mohawk?"

How the.fuck am I supposed to know how many parts there are in a Mohawk? I told the LT it has as many parts as it needs, one guy said a million, just all over the place. Then the LT got down to this last kid, who'd been in the Army all day...

"Sir, you don't part a Mohawk."

He got stuck out on the ramp to learn that a Mohawk isn't just a bad haircut.