I like to complain a lot, but when I look at it objectively, I'm actually doing alright for a person my age. I think I'm accepting the fact that I'm getting old, and stuff is going to go wrong, like it does to all of us eventually.

I used to smoke when I was younger. We had a smoke room at work. One of my smoking buddies was a lot older than me, and we used to mock each other mercilessly. Every morning, he would come into that smoke room, all cheerful like, and say "Every day above ground is a good day"! Being the young wise ass that I was, I would say "Right. Is that a saying you learned back in the 1930s"?

But now I know he was right. Every day above ground is a good day.

after a crazy night.

I never looked back either...

I just told myself "that's enough".

I found, as is quite common based on what I read, that you lose a lot of friends when you quit drinking.

It's true.

But also, you gain some friends that embrace your new path.

and congratulate you!

30 years and I'm still missing him.

I met him once in 1978, and we exchanged a few kind words. Amazing man, wasn't he?

That all, I mean ALL of my close friends are sick with something.. Asbestos related pneumonia, 3 with heart disease, Crohn's with a massive flareup and the big one.. Bowel and lung cancer..
All are between 66 and 77.. .I worked in Hospitals with close patient contact so I've seen arc what happens. The journey from beginning to end.. This sucks to think whats coming down the pike.
m

But they are living their lives, bless them and check on me every once in a while

fade away a bit...because they are living their lives. Like us all.

I hope you get a nice visit or a phone call from your grandchildren!

Much needed.

And I think I actually typed this to remind myself that it's all good!

Wishing you good health and happiness in the coming year. There's another time and place for negativity. Merry Christmas and best wishes for you and yours.

and Rich. Life is too short to worry about things I was never able to change. Love, Debbie.

I am on the upper end of "middle age" and losses are starting - in the past few years both my brother and mom passed away within a few months of each other. Recently my youngest went off to college. I'm so overjoyed to have both my children home for a few weeks for the holidays & then they fly back to their respective cities. 2026 will be more empty nesting and I plan to have a good time - I went out and added pink highlights to my hair a couple months ago, just because I could, and it really cheered me up! Life on this planet is short, and the older you get the faster it comes at you. I hope all of you are able to make some connections, whether online or in person, and have a peaceful holiday season.

Last edited Mon Dec 22, 2025, 04:51 PM - Edit history (2)

family and others overtime for one reason or another unfortunately. And the pressured American work and life pace doesn't seem to allow time for maintaining healthy social ties with friends and relatives.

If anyone's interested there are some youtube posters online who discuss aspects of life as an *Elder Orphan. Happy Holidays, ☃️

I'll sometimes smile, or nod.

This year has been a real challenge for me. A few deaths in the family too. I've had ups and down's all year. On the 23rd, I will be celebrating 10 years of no smoking. I had to quit because I woke up unable to breathe at 2AM. That was it for me. I was done. As others have noted if they wouldn't have quit, they'd be dead by now. Same here.

As a result, I have COPD, which has it's own challenges. I just got over the FLU A virus 3 weeks ago, but still struggle with a cough. I actually feel pretty good and should have a good Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all. I appreciate all of you and the many postings here.

Congratulations on quitting smoking. That is quite an accomplishment. I am so sorry for what you have been through. This year has been quite difficult for me, too. Fortunately, we have this wonderful DU family that always offers support and encouragement.

Sorry you have COPD.

I visited my sister to help decorate.
At one point the conversation I mentioned our mom had been ? 2 pack smoker who quit after getting terrible asthma.
I mentioned to my sis I'm so glad she quit in her ?mid-late 20's. She's 68 now.

And not just losing but watching friends and family deal with operations, cancer, limitations, etc

My close friend just had a hip operation 5 days ago and my heart breaks knowing she is in pain even though I know it won’t last forever.

My good friend and neighbor has pancreatic cancer and is on her third different chemo and courageously fighting to stay alive.

The new neighbors we went to dinner & play with few nights ago had a hard time walking and didn’t drink anymore.

I love to hike and feel lucky that my body can still do short hikes, long walks, yoga and other exercises. I miss having friends to do these things with and joined classes for a few but around here hiking clubs even senior ones are hard core that go much further than I want to.

My friend who got hip operation plans to do pt and hopefully heal enough to go with me, my fingers are crossed.

I have been lucky so far to only lose older family members but probably next year my neighbor friend will go.

This past year especially with Trump, aging and needing to feel hopeful, I have been more mindful and appreciate each day. I am thankful for my golden who is 9 and getting older also.

For many years at Christmas I stayed home, away from family because my husband prefers to stay home, not liking family stuff. I visit my kids and grandkids throughout the year alone. This year I booked a flight leaving on Christmas Day for a week staying with my older daughter and my younger one is also flying in with family and staying nearby.

Merry Christmas and I am glad you are here. I am not close to many here but this is my place, my people I feel safe with and has been for over 20 years.

They are so true. I needed a shot of that!

I don’t know what I'd do without DU and the wonderful people here. I feel the same as you do.

I wish you many blessings this Christmas, too, and into the new year.

I'm so glad you didn't leave for good.

Merry Christmas. I hope your appointments all go smoothly and you can relax for the holiday.

Sorry you lost your friend.
Glad you had a lovely Thanksgiving.
Good luck w your appointments.
I had lovely visit w my sister today, helping her finish holiday decorating.

In touch w some cousins by texting. Have friends around my age. Two seem to be somewhat out of touch so I'm concerned. Have two younger friends by 15 to 18 yrs.

Being here close to 5 yrs I appreciate being able to deal with our country's situations with like minded people!

And get to have fun here in the Lounge. Learn things in, like, the Science, History, etc threads.

Happy, healthy, safe holidays- which ever you celebrate DU'rs!

Beautifully and carefully written, Lucky.



Good luck on your boatload of appts. this week. I certainly hope there's good news thrown in there for you.

Still great times…some dear people missing…physically but there in memories…gaps filled with the young kids.
Ghostly conversation replaced by laughs and giggles. Too much food, too little time. Our family is scattered throughout Michigan. We get together at various other times during the year but not ‘all together’.at once. That’s why Christmas time is special.
Great post, Lucky. Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a great New Year.

for posting that................

I do feel pretty alone around the holidays, and usually protect myself from the emotional coldness of this time of year for me with the lack of real family.
Thanks for thinking of us.
Merry Christmas

Thank you for your enduring words of wisdom, Lucky Charms. Enjoy your holiday season.

And your reminder to be good to yourself is well worth reading, and then maybe reading it again.

What I’ve learned (especially by now) is that all we really have is each other. Preserving those personal connections is as important as breathing, at least to me.

Love you guys, and DU for connecting me with you.

the handset. my moms gram said she hated this time as a lot of friends passed away. i am 68a lot of my friends either passed away . moved away or cant come out and play anymore your last statement is very true.

My husband lost his youngest brother in 2024, and now one of his older brothers that he shares his birth date with, is near death. Even though we realize that being over 65 means losing older family members and friends, it is still hard to deal with these deaths. I thank you for reminding us to live our lives with lots of love, warm memories of those who have passed away, and treating others with empathy and kindness.

Wishing everyone peace and love for Christmas and hopes for a better, kinder 2026. I am so lucky to have found this forum - all of you lift me up and reinforce my belief in the goodness of people.

Thank you so much for this post. It helps

Lucky Charms have a wonderful holiday season.

Family members who are my cousins against me with lies she is rich and I think they hope to inherit her money. Last year we did Christmas with my husband’s family in Arizona his two sisters have adult kids. And we went for Thanksgiving this year end out of 15 of us 10 were MAGAs or Qanon. So all the talk was small and meaningless.

I’ll be happy to have just my husband and our son who is on the spectrum who lives in a group having a nice quiet day watching Xmas movies until my husband decides to watch football.

Growing up we had parties at my parents home Xmas eve and day. Our house was large and we had a living room and extended family party room.

That said, I’m ok with this small Xmas.

But I wish everyone on DU a merry chill Xmas!

What a beautiful reminder you've given us here. Thanks for the message. I needed it today.

Bright blessings upon you and yours.

And God bless Lucky. I scroll through the comments and it's as if the invitation said "only the good and kind of spirit need reply."

My condolences on the loss of your friend. How lovely you were able to spend some time together and reconnect. It is so kind of you to reach out to others here on DU for the holidays. It is a tough time for so many, and your good wishes and kind words will lift some hearts.

nice dinner or lunch, for no particular reason other than just visiting w/ each other...what greater gift can one get when you spend it w/ friends, loved ones, relatives?

And I appreciate this post very much

you know how short this experience really is. Merry Christmas, bro.