I'm even older and I write books and self-publish them. So, I know what trying to 'live the dream' is about. As for being a failure, if you created something you did not fail. You succeeded. Take care and take heart.

I'm not a musician, just a lover of music and I could easily miss out if you only post here.
highplainsdem is a good host, so it's certain your music would be welcome.

you post we will listen!!

Just because you didn't realize your dream the precise way you wanted to and with the results you desired does not mean you failed. Life is about much more than successful results of our ambitions. Think of all the people you met that you wouldn't have otherwise because you made the attempt to fulfill your dream; the unknown people you certainly must have inspired with your persistence and drive. You wouldn't be you had you not made this attempt. Please lift your eyes from the floor and lighten your heart and get back to your instrument and play child, play; sing child, sing!

“Go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut

Thanks for a fantastic quote

Baldy THIS!

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Only in this era of competitive TV shows is creating music only reserved for the professionals. Since the dawn of time, humans have been creating and sharing music for their own enjoyment. I grew up around bluegrass where everyone came to the potluck with a song, not necessarily a great voice or performance. Every song contribution was like a dish of food at the potluck - welcomed!

It is a gift to play music for Kurt Vonnegut reasons, and a gift to others when you share it, regardless of whether it qualifies for one of the awful TV shows.

The arts are definitely NOT a way to make a living. Which makes being someone whose talents all pretty much fall into that profession have a difficult life. It does not have to be this way. We choose to let it be this way. That 'enormous reward' has no practical value without someone willing to reward you for creating it. I know how this sounds, but I created art for arts sake for decades. I had several breakdowns and lived on the fucking streets because of it. I was shunned and ridiculed for pursuing it. I am not Superman. I am not a groundbreaker nor am I a role model. I am just a dumb performer who wanted to make a living doing what gave his soul fulfillment. So much for being fulfilled.

Artists see things in a perspective, most don't take the time to think about, until one day somebody hears, sees, or reads something and it resonates, so they share it and fame and fortune ensues. Sometimes you live to see it, sometimes you don't.

You are a true artist because it called you to continue without recognition.

At least, not fortune in the 'making millions per movie' level. I just wanted to make a living. I am not a businessperson. I am a performer. Thanks to the infiltration of absolute greed, the arts cannot be practiced solely to create. and thanks to our society's disregard for artists unless they make a fortune means that it will never be anything more than something that parents complain about when they want their kid to be a doctor or a lawyer instead of following his/her heart. It is heartbreaking. And, soul destroying.

Except when artesians break from the factory and reach out locally with their talents, and I mean where ever you lay your head.

You're an actor, singer and musician, and I'm applauding you for all three.

Not everyone who's an artist is successful commercially, but that doesn't make those who aren't "failures" unless you judge people only by their wealth and fame.

Which I don't for one second believe you do.

Neither do I. Neither do other DUers.

Both the Musicians group and Music Appreciation (which I host) are good places to post your own music. And so is the Lounge.

I'm looking forward to hearing it.

There's a lot of luck involved in making it big.
Some people have the talent, but never got lucky.
If you enjoyed yourself while you were doing it, you didn't fail.
I played in bands for more than 30 years. Played 2,000+ gigs, but we were never more than a good club act. Our original material was well received, but went nowhere beyond our shows. But, I'm a good keyboardist, guitarist, bassist, & singer. No failure there, either.
Don't give it up. I don't perform much anymore but I play every day. Still makes me happy to do something better than I would have last year.
Hang in there!

As Danny Bonnaduce once said, "Talent and a dollar will get you a cup of coffee in L.A.."

If you were doing that in the early 90s we may have crossed paths. I was in a rock band that did some regional touring and got into a few magazines. For all the good it did us.

I suppose I am 'giving up' but the truth is I am just done with everything and even attempting to do any of the things I used to do just hurts. It just reminds me that I was filled with lies and let loose upon a world that was already stacked against me. But thanks for the kind words. I did enjoy doing it. But, enjoying something does not feed anyone. I love performing. But, it will not help me when I have my next surgery.

I did not make this nation obsessed with making money over its own humanity nor did I make that the defining criteria of survival in said nation. But here we are. Those like myself, we are just fodder for the rich. Since I have no desire to be rich and therefore am not fawning over them as other are, I am worse than useless in their eyes and thanks to their influence, the eyes of society in general. And, they control it all. So, what do I do now? It is like I landed in the wrong dimension at birth.

...I was semi-professional.
I made money to play music, but that was an avocation, not a vocation.
So, honestly I wasn't concerned about the money. Anything I made was fun money.
I can't really identify with slugging it out to survive.

too be proud of.

It is not allowing the image to appear here because it is unlisted, but you can click on it to give it a listen on YouTube.

Some quick info. I used my 'arsenal' for this. My baby, a 1977 Fender Telecaster. My Yamaha G series nylon acoustic. My Cort Curbow bass which I finally sold. (It was a damn good bass for what it costs, that is no lie.) My Optimus (Yes, Radio Shack. RIP to the one place that allowed me to create and dream. It was the only place like it where I was from.) keyboard, which means it is a Casio. And GarageBand, or course. Heh. I am not a drummer so I had to use Mac Hine on the drums. (Get it?) I did the drum fills and stuff though. Lastly, it is all me. I did everything you will hear. The songs, except one, are all mine. It is what I do. Well, what I did anyway.

If you like this, there are others.

Just in case.

If you hear it, it's me.
I listened to your stuff.
Your attention to sonic detail is impressive. You're much more meticulous than I am. I like the songs overall, the first couple a lot plus the one that started with the pipe organ sound.
I'm way more into the playing itself, so I use a limited # of parts and do everything one take.
Here's an example of my stuff.
https://SoundCloud.com/user-134084288

respond here, too.

You're very talented, Dalton - that's so obvious. Like ProfessorGAC, I really like those first two tracks - Don't Understand and Desolated Children - and I also particularly like I'll Fly Away.

IMO no one who can write and perform music like that is a failure, or should ever feel like one. Your own music offers hope, even though the lyrics are so dark and you feel you failed. I wish you'd let the music lift you up, and let it lift those lyrics up as well. I hear talent in the music rebelling against despair in the lyrics. I'd like to see the talent kick out the despair, or at least subdue it and put it in perspective.

There's a lot of pain in the world, but music soars above it and can rescue us.

Like ProfessorGAC - whose uploaded music I hope you'll listen to, because he's really talented - you've been fortunate to have the talent and perseverance to work as a musician. All those performances were accomplishments that would have made the day better for the people who heard you. I wish I could replay all the applause and smiles for you.

I wish there was guaranteed financial security for artists, but there never has been.

Art is worth it anyway. It's humanity's voice, humanity's dance, lifting up over the suffering we might have to deal with. It offers both escape and perspective.

It doesn't always offer enough escape and perspective to the artists themselves, and I wish it did.

But I hope we can still convince you that you aren't a failure. That you haven't been a failure. And that the music fighting to get through even your bleakest moods should be set free so it can lift you up.

Sorry this is so wordy. I probably should have posted a meme or two instead.

Editing because I found one...

I appreciate what you said. And, I appreciate the meme. The only thing I would add to that meme is that it would be nice to get something back once in a while for all that giving. Besides pain and heartache I mean. Because from here, that is about all it gave me. Oh, I had some great times while touring, but they were fleeting. The suffering and disaster that is my 'career' spanned my entire adult life. A few moments of pleasure is just not enough to balance that. I am sure there will be those who are thinking, 'Wow, ungrateful wretch!' All I can say is that I am not ungrateful for the good times I have had. I am saying that they were not enough to offset the pain and suffering. I am saying that clinging to those fleeting moments is not enough to keep me from this despair. I am saying that there is just no reason for me to have failed so spectacularly unless it was by design. Meaning I never had a chance to begin with. But, I was told I did. I was told this repeatedly. I was told by everyone how good I was. I was told by everyone that The American Dream exists and that anyone could attain it. This was drilled into me since the freaking first grade.

To quote one of my song titles: They Lied.