I also switched instruments. I never really loved playing an instrument before. I mean LOVED. Playing by ear changed that.

When I was still in high school I would walk around the house all day with my guitar on. I would turn the radio on and try to figure out every song that came on before it ended and play a solo over it. I didn't learn to read until later, and it was a bit of pain, but I did it. The funny thing about playing along with the radio was that I found out the none of the songs were in tune with each other. I had to re-tune to almost every new song that came on. It was totally addictive, but the good kind of addiction. I went on to play full time for a living for a number if years. I don't play so much anymore, but I still have a couple of instruments around. I sent mom's old piano to my sisters house. Her kids are just getting into elementary school, so I wanted them to have it. It's great for your mental health and it does make you smarter too! Keep at it!

My sister's piano teacher caught me at it and insisted I have lessons.

So, I started playing when I was four. I taught private lessons for a few years and played and played.

But in recent years I haven't played much. Now I am getting back into it and loving it.

But, I find I really enjoy playing by ear -- something I could not do for many years.

It's as if I am regaining the ability to play what I hear that was sort of scolded out of me when I was young.

Strange experience. I was always able to hear melodies and play them very, very easily, but now I hear and can play the harmonies, the chords, everything. Quite interesting. Shows that education can sometimes have a bad, narrowing effect. It can develop talent, but also discourage it.

And, see...that's what I want to be able to do. I want to hear the harmony...the chords. I can hear the melody easily. And, I can put chords in to support the melody. But, many times, you can hear that the music with a soloist especially, isn't following the melody. I want to learn how to "comp".

I have searched the Internet. Alas, right now, nothing makes sense. For my sixteen year old guitar player, it makes sense. But, for me, not so much. I see that circle of 5ths and wonder...why aren't you helping me? LOL. My sixteen year tells me...the pentatonic scale is my friend. Well, the scale hasn't been my friend.

I think, because I have been teaching myself as an adult, I've learned a lot. But, I have missed out on something hugely important that is the glue that I need. Surely, if I had a teacher, it's something that I would have been told. But, I'm left putting the puzzle pieces together by myself and it has been a painful learning curve.

But, then other times, something will click and a light bulb will go off. But, it's a slow process.

You Tube has been my friend and enemy in this process.

That gives you a sense of a part of each chord that is not in the melody.

Second idea, and I did this when I was in music school. Make flash cards for yourself so that when you hear the name of a chord, you automatically know all the notes in the chord. Say A major --- A, C sharp, E. Then add the minor seventh, G, the major seventh G sharp.

Practice playing lots of scales and the I, IV and V chords in each key. When those become automatic so that you don't have to think about them, you can focus on hearing the other notes.

Also, remember that often, the ninths, tenths, etc. -- those notes that are added to the basic chord structure, are really either part of the melody or connecting idioms that you can use to glue the music together. In a lot of music, the riffs the musicians who originally recorded or performed the song are so memorable that you will hear those fragments as you play the melody.