In a highly unambivalent piece in Monday’s Washington Times – your first clue that this should be treated entirely as a gag – the Republican Kansas representative takes on “The war on marriage and motherhood” because “Redefining matrimony would destroy the family.” Your second clue that he has got to be kidding is the accompanying illustration of a man and a woman; their genitals obscured by the words “What. Ever” as a rainbow gavel-wielding ENEMY OF FREEDOM.

And then there’s the content of the op-ed itself. There’s the whipped up terror of states “having homosexual marriage imposed upon them” by “activist judges.” There’s the classic citing of “overwhelming social science evidence to corroborate the benefits of raising children in homes with both a mom and a dad” – with no citation or proof. Maybe that’s because the American Academy of Pediatrics just two weeks ago affirmed its support, based on “extensive research,” for couples “regardless of sexual orientation.” Yet Huelskamp, who last year moved to bar gay marriages on Defense Department property, presses on, citing “biology, nature and common sense.”