The worst part is that craft beer is un-Australian. We have a fairly specific kind of beer drinking culture, and it’s ill at ease with the kind of mouth-puckering, overly flavoursome beers favoured by the crafty set.

When I go to the pub I want to talk to my friends about their lives, our jobs, politics, funny things we saw on public transport that day. Ward says that “craft beer is a conversation”, which really gets to the heart of the matter: I don’t want to have a conversation with my beer, I want to have a conversation with my mates.

If beer snobbery were perceived as a bit weird, like cheese enthusiasm or wine appreciation, we wouldn’t have this problem. Everyone drinking $4 schooners of freezing cold classless bitter would be free to talk about other things, all of them far more interesting.

Craft beer culture must die, or at least stop taking over all the pubs where I like to go. If it were contained to its own small bars where I never drink, it’d just be another niche subculture, where it belongs. Instead, it’s being relentlessly hand-pumped down our throats. Give me cheap beer, or give me sobriety.