The National Health Service is hoping it can make a full recovery after having a dangerous lump removed in an emergency operation yesterday.

It had appeared touch-and-go for the UK’s much-loved public organisation for a number of years, but following yesterday’s successful operation it is hoped there could be a brighter future for the much-beloved health care system.

“I already feel so much better in myself knowing that the cancerous fucker is gone,” said the NHS.

“My doctors had told me that the problems were spreading at an alarming rate, and they were seeing symptoms everywhere.