NATIONAL Service in the armed forces should be reinstated immediately, according to dense people who have not thought it through.

After the idea was floated by Chuka Umunna’s independent group of MPs, millions of Britons immediately agreed that making other people join the army sounds brilliant.

Administrative assistant Nikki Hollis said: “Teaches them discipline, stops them being snowflakes, keeps them off the streets, I’ve given it three seconds’ thought.”

“All this knife crime would stop in a minute if young people were highly trained in all forms of combat and addicted to their own adrenaline. That’s for sure.