Misinterpreting a Man’s Strength is Our Weakness, Not His

By Joan Ruaiz - September 11th, 2011



"The strength of a man isn’t in the weight he can lift. It’s in the burdens he can carry…"

http://www.appleseeds.org/strength_man.htm

I do ask myself how ironic it is that the strongest black man on the world stage today would be described as a weak man by his critics. But rather than denouncing the name-callers simply out of hand, I’m compelled to examine the meaning of this pronouncement and its intent. Are those critics correct in their assessment? What is weakness and what is strength? And who has it, and who doesn’t? What’s the measurement to arrive at such an adjective, one that is either a mean-spirited  put-down or is the unfortunate truth? How do we judge? ...

Strength in character comes from the ability to prioritize what is truly important for the greater good, even when facing opposition from within or from with out. A man who truly cares and tends to his family, while loving his wife madly, is a man who loves strongly. A man who, against all odds, succeeds in obtaining the best education that this country can offer shows strength in determination. A man who rises from nowhere to the highest position in the modern era demonstrates a strength that is undeniable. And yes, a  black man with a funny name who dares to win the Presidency of the United states must have both absolute courage and fearless audacity...

Strengths of Wisdom and Knowledge: Cognitive strengths that entail the acquisition and use of knowledge
1. Creativity [originality, ingenuity]: Thinking of novel and productive ways to conceptualize and do things.
2. Curiosity [interest, novelty-seeking, openness to experience]: Taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake; exploring and discovering.
3. Open-mindedness [judgment, critical thinking]: Thinking things through and examining them from all sides; weighing all evidence fairly.
4. Love of learning: Mastering new skills, topics, and bodies of knowledge, whether on one’s own or formally.
5. Perspective [wisdom]: Being able to provide wise counsel to others; having ways of looking at the world that make sense to oneself and to other people.

Strengths of Courage: Emotional strengths that involve the exercise of will to accomplish goals in the face of opposition, external and internal
6. Bravery [valor]: Not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain; acting on convictions even if unpopular.
7. Persistence [perseverance, industriousness]: Finishing what one starts; persisting in a course of action in spite of obstacles.
8. Integrity [authenticity, honesty]: Presenting oneself in a genuine way; taking responsibility for one’s feeling and actions.
9. Vitality [zest, enthusiasm, vigor, energy]: Approaching life with excitement and energy; feeling alive and activated.

Strengths of Humanity: interpersonal strengths that involve tending and befriending others
10. Love: Valuing close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated.
11. Kindness [generosity, nurturance, care, compassion, altruistic love, “niceness”]: Doing favors and good deeds for others.
12. Social intelligence [emotional intelligence, personal intelligence]: Being aware of the motives and feelings of other people and oneself.

Strengths of Justice: civic strengths that underlie healthy community life
13. Citizenship [social responsibility, loyalty, teamwork]: Working well as a member of a group or team; being loyal to the group.
14. Fairness: Treating all people the same according to notions of fairness and justice; not letting personal feelings bias decisions about others.
15. Leadership: Encouraging a group of which one is a member to get things done and at the same maintain time good relations within the group.

Strengths of Temperance: strengths that protect against excess
16. Forgiveness and mercy: Forgiving those who have done wrong; accepting the shortcomings of others; giving people a second chance; not being vengeful.
17. Humility / Modesty: Letting one’s accomplishments speak for themselves; not regarding oneself as more special than one is.
18. Prudence: Being careful about one’s choices; not taking undue risks; not saying or doing things that might later be regretted.
19. Self-regulation [self-control]: Regulating what one feels and does; being disciplined; controlling one’s appetites and emotions.

Strengths of Transcendence: strengths that forge connections to the larger universe and provide meaning
20. Appreciation of beauty and excellence [awe, wonder, elevation]: Appreciating beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in various domains of life.
21. Gratitude: Being aware of and thankful of the good things that happen; taking time to express thanks.
22. Hope [optimism, future-mindedness, future orientation]: Expecting the best in the future and working to achieve it.
23. Humor [playfulness]: Liking to laugh and tease; bringing smiles to other people; seeing the light side.
24. Spirituality [religiousness, faith, purpose]: Having coherent beliefs about the higher purpose, the meaning of life, and the meaning of the universe.

“This ain’t fun. But you watch me, I’ll get it done.” ~ Jackie Robinson

When reading the qualities that enumerate personal strength, I note that  many are qualities easily seen in Barack Obama. As the President of the United States, the President’s team is the American people. In this country, he is the leader who, while using his various strengths, acts as the head of our representative democracy. He is to appeal to us, and to offer up his solution to our societal issues. He is not supposed to tower over us while dictating loudly what we shall do. He is not our father, or a tyrant, and if he demonstrated such a capacity, it would not be the strength we seek. He is to negotiate the best position for as many of us as he can under circumstances that we can only imagine but oftentimes fail to appreciate. That is his job.

http://www.democratsforprogress.com/2011/09/11/misinterpreting-a-man%E2%80%99s-strength-as-weakness-is-our-weakness-not-his/

I had so much trouble editing this to fit the rules, it's very long, but worth reading the rest at the link above. This has always defined my view of 'strength' or 'manliness.' It's easier to be a bully like Bush was, with a pack in your corner who will back you up no matter what you do.

To stand up for the greater good against those whose myopia will allow them to be dismissive, is not much of a character trait in my eyes. It's not well rooted. I remember those who idolized the rich, powerful and popular when I was growing up, to me they were shallow.

When I saw a man willing to do the hard work, like a janitor who didn't make much money but made the world work, without the praise or respect of those others, that was my view of a man. In particular, men of color, knowing their honest work was not respected, but did it to take care of their families.

They never lost sight of that even if they had to listen to slurs from white people. Because their goal WOULD be accomplished, with quiet strength appearing humble in public, and got more done than the babbling brooks that made their noise around them. And those brooks were not the still, deep waters that change the world, but just flowed through it or dried up and I looked up to them but not to the proud and haughty.

That requires discipline and love and this is a man who is making use of his limited times as the POTUS. He gets his sleep, does not debauch himself, gets up to clear his mind with exercises every morning, even wears the same clothing to eliminate that vanity and concentrate on his job for all of us. Those who have self-discipline are not weak.

Our president may make the appearance of weakness or fear but does not one tread softly for the lives of those who are under our protection?

I have seen so much disrespect toward him and his wife and daughters, that lesser persons would lash out in public over, because to them their worth is measured in tpublic opinion. That is very foolish, as the public is fickle and liable to turn like the swine in scripture, and rend one without thinking.

So one must hold onto truths and the higher purpose, and do good while one may, whether the childish public knows it or refuses to understand. This part of the article, here, is similar to what I've said in other posts, but I will repeat what this writer said:

Having coherent beliefs about the higher purpose, the meaning of life, and the meaning of the universe.

Such a one may not be given the respect deserved, but doesn't really care. The reward comes from a plane of existance the shallow will never understand. President Roosevelt once said words to this effect:

'I am glad to be living in the same time as you.'

My family went through the good and bad years while FDR was president. I think every time in history, as well as this time in the present, has its own unique spirit, with great challenges and suffering as well opportunites and joy. I'm glad to be here.

JMHO.