Funniest freaking responses to Hillary smear...

Today someone on Facebook posted that Hillary "threw a Bible at a secret service agent" and that when people say good morning to her she responds, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!""


and then the fabulous comments:

She also kicks puppies and takes candy from babies! What a monster!

What about that time she commanded her dragon to burn up those ships.

She puts her cigarettes out on you FACE!

I hear she was actually the mother of three but she ate the first two.

I heard she throws lamps too and scratches people with her claws!

I hear she takes a coat hanger with her everywhere she goes in case someone needs an abortion.

she turned me into a newt.

I heard she shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

I heard she split her soul into 7 parts so that she can never die.

I heard she introduced New Coke, ghostwrote the Sleepy Hollow finale and killed Han Solo.

You know, Hillary was on the grassy knoll that day...

I heard she's the one who tells every little kid there is no Santa Claus.

I heard she made a coat out of 101 Dalmatian puppies.

I heard she likes to include Fava Beans and a nice Chianti at all her dinner parties.

I heard she melts if you throw water at her.
No. No. She multiplies.
Right! I forgot. What happens if you feed her after midnight?
NEVER FEED HER AFTER MIDNIGHT!

She always puts too much eye of newt in the brew.

I heard she belongs to Slytherin

I heard she built a big Trojan Horse once and loaded it up with folks and . . .

I heard she broke up the Beatles.

I heard she's the one who talked the Donner Party into their questionable menu

I heard she's the one who sold Lizzie Borden that axe.

I heard she threw Bran off the tower

I heard she wrote every song that sticks in your head that plays over and over and won't go away

I heard she let the dogs out

I heard she's why we can't have nice things

I hear she makes Baby Jesus cry.

I hear she's actually the one who made Baby Jesus go to the manger in the first place.

I heard that when she is president it will always be winter BUT NEVER BE CHRISTMAS.

I heard she invented Spanx and panty hose and high heels and girdles and corsets and every painful clothing item ever

She owned the moose who ate my cousin once.

I hear she designed mammography machines to be painful on purpose

I hear she put Baby in a corner

Hilary gave my daughter bangs.
She banged your daughters?

Literally smacked my 4 year old with the idea she could be president.

I heard she said, "I volunteer as tribute," just so she could get all dolled up for the slavering masses.

She made me and my kid listen to a litany of the terrible things that will befall us should we have control of our bodies.

Oh, no...sorry. It was Texas republicans I was thinking of.

I heard she invented the mullet

And she buried Foster under the darkness of night.

She's also responsible for liver and onions and brussels sprouts. True story.

I hear she feasts on the livers of freshly slaughtered children and hangs upside down like a bat when she sleeps at night.

Also - only drinks decaf. She-devil.

My friends uncle was in the secret service and said he saw Hillary pee on the Oval Office rug every night before she went to bed and she would wipe herself with the American flag and blow her nose into the pages of the constitution. It happened!

I heard she likes Nickelback.

I heard in 1992 she said she didn't like Fleetwood Mac. :-D

I hear she wears paisley on her days off.

I hear she prefers Bing to Google as a search engine.