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lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 03:58 PM Oct 2013

Guys: How many of you have experience as a stay-at-home dad?

Kind of a three-part question.

It seems to me that the essential questions are:
1) are those who are in a position to consider that a realistic choice privileged?
2) do cultural norms/policy/institutions act to discourage men from making that choice?


5 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
I did, and consider it a privilege, but it was harder than working a job.
2 (40%)
I did, and consider it a privilege, but it was comparatively easy.
3 (60%)
I did, but it was no privilege and it was hard.
0 (0%)
I did, but it was no privilege and it was easy.
0 (0%)
I did not or have not yet.
0 (0%)
I am not a guy but I like answering polls.
0 (0%)
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Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll
16 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Guys: How many of you have experience as a stay-at-home dad? (Original Post) lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 OP
before I answer it, the poll seems to be having some kind of a formatting issue. Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #1
It was messed up when I originally posted it but it appears fixed now. lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #3
I am a guy, but I don't have children. Behind the Aegis Oct 2013 #2
My vector for reentering the workforce was unconventional lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #4
Post removed Post removed Oct 2013 #5
Please rephrase your post. lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #6
That can't end well. Denninmi Oct 2013 #7
Wow, that was hateful. Hayabusa Oct 2013 #8
I voted "harder", although I think in some ways at some times, easier, some ways harder, some ways Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #9
It may have been rewarding enough that it didn't seem as difficult as work. n/t lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #10
I have been doing it since my daughter was born 2 years ago. Turborama Oct 2013 #11
Whenever my 2nd child was born I was able to take some time off work thanks to the FMLA Major Nikon Oct 2013 #12
I was a young parent. PeteSelman Oct 2013 #13
I am a guy and I like answering polls. ElboRuum Oct 2013 #14
Stay at home dad ozley62 Oct 2013 #15
He's lucky you're there for him. lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #16

Behind the Aegis

(54,860 posts)
2. I am a guy, but I don't have children.
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 04:06 PM
Oct 2013

"do cultural norms/policy/institutions act to discourage men from making that choice?"

Yes, especially cultural norms. I wonder what stats say about re-entering the workforce after being a stay-at-home parent.

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
4. My vector for reentering the workforce was unconventional
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 04:14 PM
Oct 2013

Sending out resumes? Fuhgeddaboudit! No one wants a guy whose first priority isn't the job, not even former employers.

Response to lumberjack_jeff (Reply #4)

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
9. I voted "harder", although I think in some ways at some times, easier, some ways harder, some ways
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 05:15 PM
Oct 2013

just different.

The things that are hard are not always the same things, and as such not always easy to plug into a straight 1-1 comparison.

Turborama

(22,109 posts)
11. I have been doing it since my daughter was born 2 years ago.
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 08:24 PM
Oct 2013

I'm not sure I would call it a "privilege", for us it was a decision we made from the very start. Due to the circumstances we are in we had no choice. If we were going to have a child I would have to be the stay at home parent. A responsibility I was/am more than happy to take on.

As for the poll question, it is hard and can be difficult but it is the most rewarding time I have spent in my life (I don't like to call it a "job" or "work&quot .

Major Nikon

(36,900 posts)
12. Whenever my 2nd child was born I was able to take some time off work thanks to the FMLA
Tue Oct 8, 2013, 12:59 AM
Oct 2013

It only amounted to a few weeks. I just remember wishing it was longer.

PeteSelman

(1,508 posts)
13. I was a young parent.
Mon Oct 14, 2013, 07:40 PM
Oct 2013

I almost certainly would not have been able to handle it. Fuck it, take out the almost. There is no way I would have been able to handle it. At 23 I was still into running around and partying all night. Luckily, my wife was very mature for her age and the kids were taken care of perfectly. My mom and dad helped a lot too.

I would not have found it to be a privilege and I know it wasn't easy. I'll take the day job any day.

ozley62

(2 posts)
15. Stay at home dad
Sat Oct 19, 2013, 07:12 PM
Oct 2013

It wasn't something I wanted, 2 blown knees & a bad back made the choice for me. I'm not a religious person, but I believe sometimes things happen for a reason. My son has autism & was mistreated at a daycare & by a few private sitters we had left him with, my getting hurt on the job was a blessing as far as me being able to stay home & take care of him myself. I love my son & he's worth the pain I go through every day to be with him. A lot of people see us as 2 deadbeats sucking off the government tit, but neither of us ask to be handicapped . And I spent 2/3 of my adult life working away from home & my family as a soldier & a merchant marine. I feel I've more than paid my dues. Sorry, got on my screw the republican soapbox for a minute!

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
16. He's lucky you're there for him.
Sat Oct 19, 2013, 11:54 PM
Oct 2013

Actually, we're all a little better off that you're there for him.

Very similar stories here, autism and all. Drop me an DU mail if you want to talk about it.

... and welcome to DU!

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