all women, too.

On the list of the things that truly concern me, this honestly ranks pretty low.

I'm going to be as concerned about objectification, superficiality, exploitation and stereotyping wherever it occurs.

I don't think it's intellectually honest to denigrate only one half of a couple who selected one another by evaluating "boobs" and "income".

Nor do I think it's fair to wring ones hands over "superficial guys who don't like smart women" while publicly berating short men. One can't live by stereotype and expect others not to react in kind.

I see no reason to scapegoat either gender in the process. But for the most part, I see "sexism against men" as something akin to "reverse racism" - i.e. more theoretical than real, and not likely to have a serious detrimental impact on my life.

For the record, I know you've brought up legitimate issues here, for instance the fact that men account for the vast majority of workplace injuries and fatalities. Where I differ is the belief that "men's issues" are the fault of "misandry" - frankly, I don't see that at all, even as I do recognize that conventional gender roles, in many ways, are just as harmful to men as to women.

I get that being razzed for living in mom's basement is about on par with complaining about discrimination because your dry cleaning and haircuts are more expensive.

About the more serious issues you mention; Personally, I think that workplace injuries and fatalities have their roots in patriarchy. They aren't on anyone's radar because they are a part of patriarchy which is really only considered a problem to the next of kin. Male only draft? Ditto. We're fine with patriarchy - sometimes - and especially if it means that crab legs remain less than $10.00 per pound.

Misandry on the other hand, raises its head when people say that it is intolerably sexist to talk about this stuff.

It's not necessary for these things to be a problem for me personally - to recognize that it is a problem generally. It represents an irreconcilable asymmetry in social priorities. I find it odd that when I mourn the treatment Matthew Shepard got, or the treatment that Trayvon Martin got, or the treatment that Rachel Corrie got, I'm fulfilling expectations because only an inhuman monster could fail to sympathize on the basis that what happened to them is "more theoretical than real, and not likely to have a serious detrimental impact on my life."

(Cue the bla bla brigade: "Did you hear him compare himself to Trayvon Martin?!1!1&quot

*on edit*
I am not suggesting that this is what you are doing. I am just saying that men are socialized to ignore and minimize not only trivial slights, but even grossly unfair treatment.
*/edit*

It is true enough that I have been blessed with skills and an environment that allowed me to avoid seriously hazardous occupations, but that may or may not be true for my sons, and contrary to popular opinion, it isn't the coal miner's fault for doing something so stupid.

Men are murdered 3x more often. They die of suicide 5x more often. They die on the job 8x more often. They die 7 years younger. I don't think there's any argument who's getting the disproportionate share of harm.

There's no such thing as reverse sexism. It is all one thing.

That I will never disagree with. Where I do take issue is the notion that this is rooted in some larger cultural bias against men.

If so, you are in disagreement with our president. I don't know how the culture could express its bias any more explicitly.

And even assuming that it is, are you really going to argue that contemporary American society, as a whole, is more biased against men than against women? Seems to require quite a selective view of things, to say the least.

You are saying that you think society is more biased against women. That's a valid viewpoint, and one that is shared by most americans. The president has said that the fact that women as a group make 77% of what men as a group do "for the same work" (which is false) is a huge national priority and that laws need to be written to address it. The fact that the problem as described doesn't exist in part because it's been illegal for fifty years doesn't appear to affect the rhetoric much.

On the other hand, daughters are 50% more likely to go to college than sons, and instead of suggesting government action to correct this imbalance, the president describes this imbalance itself as a "great achievement"

It's been known for 100 years that men are suffering greater health risks leading to premature death. Men die younger from every preventable cause than women. So, now we have an opportunity to fix things through the ACA. What do we do? We raise men's cost of insurance by passing the 30% more that is spent on women's care onto the men.

A good indicator of bias is what you're willing to do to intervene when you see injustice, unfairness or disadvantage. In the cases where that unfairness affects men, the most common reaction is to pat ourselves on the back.

The most damaging kinds of bias are the ones we cherish.

the fault of "misandry." So we agree there's a problem, we just differ on the cause.

And I am suggesting that an all hands on deck reaction for a 5% disparity in pay combined with deafening silence for a 50% disparity in college is reflective of biased social priorities.

How would you go about quantifying such a thing?

as a man in this society. And I really can't relate to those who do.

All it takes is empathy to relate. However, you've just identified the central problem with the claim that either gender has more privilege than the other. Those claims are largely based on what people feel rather than anything they can quantify. Race privilege is easy to quantify. There are few, if any, privileges one receives for being black vs white while you can't say that about the reverse. This is not true for gender privilege.

I hadn't heard this term before, and reading about it is very thought provoking. It is certainly better thought out and articulated than the concept of intersectionality.

doesn't it?

But something worthy of consideration? Sure.

As a short guy, I can tell you that the number of women that come right out and say that they would never consider a guy under 6 feet (I am 5'7&quot is enormous.

How is that any different than saying "I wouldn't consider a woman with anything less than a D cup" or "I wouldn't consider a woman over 115 pounds". etc.?

I don't think it is. But the level of outrage over such exclamations is entirely stacked against men being the bad guys.

- be they male or female - doesn't deserve to be taken very seriously.

Now, if I was as sensitive as some, I would say that using the male genitals in a way that denotes such a negative character trait, was itself sexist!

Fortunately, I am not, but I do see the humor and irony of it.

Or as some might say "You're all so much fun! I'm smiling so much right now!"

Gender essentialist feminism. It's not what I consider feminism, but sadly many people subscribe to it.

"All men are animals" I hear from both women and men: "you shouldn't wear a short skirt, you know how men are!"
What an insult to men. As if men are sub humans who can't control themselves.

On TV: men are portrayed as boorish oafs, loveable shlubs, who are clueless about **laundry, cleaning, or childcare or else slobs living in their parents house. (which there is nothing wrong with that) All they need is a women to keep them in line (I'm looking at you Bounty Towels. The one where the guy sets the plunger on the counter and the wife rolls her eyes and cleans up after him.

“If women ran the world, there would be no war.”

I had a huge fight with my mother over this. It's the same mindset that says women are the kinder, nurturing gender and men are animals. Sorry mother, I don't want to be the gatekeeper of morals.

An aside: the whole registering for the draft at 18 that men have to do, but not women is part of the gender essentialist crap.

Either both sexes do it or abolish it.

Radical Feminists are a nastier version of gender essentialist fembots. IIRC besides being bigots about transgendered folk, don't they hate men too? To the point they recommend killing them?


**I am a loyal Tide user and I really like them now: they have a commercial where the dad is a stay at home day, doing the laundry, playing with his daughter etc.