I hold open doors for anyone. If you are riding with me, you can open your own door. I will give up my seat for anyone who seems to need it, if no others are available. As for the checkout line, that depends on my mood, but usually I go first if I am first. I call older people "Ma'am" and "Sir" as part of my upbringing.

as "Sir", such as police officers but I don't do that anymore. They can call me "Sir" now.

Why do you think you don't do this for men, but do it for women?

I guess some could still say "yes," and others "no." But, it is definitely biased.

I feel the same when I am called "mr.", as well. There are tiems when someone has called Mr. BTA and I haven't responded because I am not used to hearing my own last name or I think they are addressing my father.

I don't do any of that for women especially. I'll hold the door open for people. I never, or hardly ever say Ma'am. If a person is older or in some way, disabled or burdened, I'll offer them mine. I've probably done that checkout thing before, but never in recent memory.

Why would you aim those courtesies especially at women, as opposed everyone, or as opposed to women you find attractive? Is it because you think they're of a higher or lower status than you? I realize you're going to say it's good manners. In any culture, however, manners and etiquette vary according to perceived difference in status.

The devil is in the details.

Holding the door open I feel is one of those 'old' style things put on men to be polite to women, or the elderly because of gender roles and sexism, women 'the weaker sex'. If I hold a door open, meaning I wait for them to get in/out, I do it because the person is a child/elderly person/otherwise has mobility issues/burdened with items. It is less often that anyone, especially a women will hold a door open for me except in the situation that I am burdened with items. I also find men are more likely to at least hold the door open if they are in front of me so I don't have to open it myself, but they don't wait for me to fully enter/exit, something I also do for those behind me.

Opening the car door for a women I see as 'fine' especially if it is locked and you use a key, closing it to me seems more like she isn't capable of doing it herself, sort of like tucking her in, but that's my view. I tend to think that is 'too much' unless it is a really formal setting like being out with in-laws, a business trip, or perhaps a first date but the date would probably need to be 'fancy'.

I don't know what one would call an older women, if it were obvious she was older, besides ma'am. I used miss at one time but didn't know that was 'supposed' to be for younger women. Honestly if there is another term to call an older women you don't know I'm drawing a blank. Beyond that I sometimes avoided using ma'am or miss and went with no identifier, ie excuse me or directly to asking a question or whatever my purpose was about.

In a formal setting, I can see standing when a women enters a room, but beyond that it seems really dated.

As a rule unless someone has literally a handful of items like 5 or so and I have a ton I don't offer anyone the option to skip me. It is extremely rare I have a 'lot' of stuff that someone waiting for me is going to be held up enough to warrant me letting them skip me. I also don't take my cart load of crap into the express lane or the shortest lane that other people with one item will line up behind me. This has happened on the automated scanners built for people to take a cart load of groceries, there are 4 scanners for express self scan and 2 for cart load self scan many people overlook the cart self scan and sometimes lineup behind my cart with their two items I do not offer them to jump me as they always come after I've started scanning.

That's my perspective, in my early 30's, and people have all sorts of views on these things. I'm sure as I see some of those things as dated there are some people that would think me rude for not always doing them.

I always open doors for women and things..I enjoy doing it and most women respond with a smile and a thank you. However, there is a certain percentage of women who will give me a look like I just killed their dog.

I guess they think I'm being sexist? I don't even know..

If another person is approaching the door within 20 seconds of me, I'll hold the door open so that someone can enter behind me. Men and elderly women will say thanks. 80% of younger women will say nothing.

Sex selective "manners" are the most obvious manifestation of the patriarchy. She's as capable of standing, waiting and opening a door as I am.

not just women.

/I will stand up for someone who is clearly less able to stand comfortably than I am. But not specifically because that person is female. Women are as capable of standing as men are.

Manners never go out of style. Thanks for remaining a gentleman.

Her opinion is that if she is comfortable and is enjoying the music she selected, then I must be too!

Right?

They both have the attitude that they ought to be the one that selects the music and set the temperature controls. Many times I had to go along and be the driver so I would be the peace keeper.

Same thing with my ex and her sister. One trip they went on together it got so bad my ex pulled over and they both got out of the car and they went at each other with their purses.