You don't have to give specifics, of course.... but did anything change afterwards?

They probably weren't supposed to, but instinct took over. There was some school damage that needed fixing, but nothing structural. The worst was that it was a former student that some kids recognized and saw from their classroom right before things started.

I think they were shocked to the core at how dead inside the person looked, and had no object but doing the most harm to them as possible.

Afterward the community handled it well, no one was physically injured, so the focus was on mentally and emotionally coping.

The kids were really really angry after, and when they saw stories about it in papers in the classroom, they really went off on how they felt about their school being attacked. It sounds kind of cliche', but it really did bring the community closer together.

Unspeakable.

What is the answer? I love teaching, so much. But how much are we suppose to do? How much are we suppose to be responsible for? I am so overwhelmed by all of it. It is too much. We need to fix this shit. All of this. I am a teacher! Not a fucking miracle worker!

It is just too much.

I love teaching too. I knew we'd all be wondering what we could have done to help Adam before he turned to this. It leaves a hole in you, wondering how you could have helped.

I think we feel responsible because we see those faces everyday, for hours, and even then we know it isn't enough.

The heartbreak is knowing we aren't miracle workers, and it seems like it is going to take a miracle to fix what we can see. Who is helping us?

hard this will all be. We know what to do. Let us do our job! Let us teach these kids and help them. I am babbling, but I think you know what I mean. It is not rocket science. We need enough staff, enough support, and god damn gun control!

You say it so well. We see these kids struggle with crap and know that with a few shifts we could just do our damn jobs. I don't know why the higher ups make it so complicated. It's just layers you have to peel back before you can get to the important stuff.

I probably won't, but I really think about it. All of our students have so much to offer and they need all the help they can get. Why can't we appreciate all the different people in this world? When will we learn? We know about multiple intelligences, smaller classes, teaching the 'big' concepts, and making the curriculum meaningful and engaging. Instead, we have to focus on stupid five paragraph essays. I am sick of all of it. And seriously babbling. I have unfriended multiple family members on facebook today and maybe, just maybe, had a little too much wine. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. I have a feeling I won't give a shit about unfriending my stupid family members who were so insulted be my gun control posts. Sigh...

You're not babbling. I've been reading posts on and off in the big forums and everything was about the violence, but I was sad and worried about our teacher friends and colleagues in here. We have a different take on this, that others can't really know unless they work closely with the kids.

Tomorrow is another day, and hopefully the weekend will be a tiny bit better.

I've got a holiday party in Orange County tomorrow night

I really appreciate it. I will get my shit together and seriously start working to change these stupid gun laws. That has to be our first step.

...and am going to try and get my social network (and DU) to match me. Get some rest.

I had a little Christmas shopping to finish up. Stocking stuffer crap, really. I will donate to the Brady Campaign instead. Everyone on my list will greatly appreciate that, which I am very grateful for. Thank you for the idea and the ability to really help, in the short term at least.

We get the horror and the inhumane sorrow. It is just not what children, their parents or educators of any stripe sign on for.

But we are the first one's who feel we've failed. Even when it is not our school, we feel we've failed. That is the part of education that the deformers don't understand.

I too am just catching up. Today I did a job. Multiple meetings, paperwork, phone calls, you name it, we do it. Not one Teacher complains of protecting children. We just do it until we can't anymore.

These are just a few of the reasons why we are not staying in this profession of education. I sincerely hope that people will appreciate educators more but I doubt it. Next week, next month, the news will return to the barrage of negativity making our children in our schools with our educators

victims. Again.

That's the same feeling I've been having. You just cry in your heart and think, dammit, can't we even keep them alive?

It will make the upcoming torrents of more negativity even harder to handle. Everything you say. Just everything.

It's diabolical, watching the cycle of harm in our communities and seeing so much wasted opportunity go by to *really* help.

The teens are practically like little adults so young now. Just today, more young kids in my class talking to me about the need to raise minimum wages in our city, for jobs for them, so they can help out at home. When I was 16 my biggest issue was what shade of lipstick to change to.

...Starry. I've been crying on and off all day as the news came out...

YvonneCA. It just started to hit me a couple of hours ago. I'm so glad you are all here.

...and sad.

I just keep thinking about how innocent and little those kids are. I first saw the scroll across the bottom of the TV screen at about 9 this morning. So I went online to get more updated info and found out about it being a K-4 school and the numbers of students. That's when I lost it...

I hope the President leads us to really DO something about gun control this time.

Glad you are here, too, Starry.

and all the posts were about what had happened. Teachers were finding out and going back and forth to pass the news, trying to not alarm the kids. Finding out it was little sweet kids, you could tell everyone was gutted and trying to hold their stuff together to teach.

Even an English teacher I almost never talk to came in to visit during my class and talk to her students in my class and look at their artwork and just be with them.

...about teachers and teaching: The way teachers support each other and the children.

Our job is so much more than any given lesson or test. It's all the extra caring required to keep students safe, do what students need to support them emotionally, and all the while CONTINUING to help them learn.

What your staff did today isn't evaluated by today's methods. Neither is the heroism at Sandy Hook.

has been the "set in stone" narrative that we and the kids are somehow natural adversaries and we need supreme intervention to make the relationship go right. Any teacher knows that's an infamous distortion of how all of our lives are at school with our students.

I was just reading the story of the first grade Sandy Hook teacher who barricaded herself and her kids in the class bathroom and told them she loved them, because if something happened to them all, she wanted them to hear that.

It's just bone-deep.

...teacher. She is a hero. She did exactly the right thing (although she said she wasn't sure) for those kids.

And I agree with you completely on the narrative being the opposite of the truth about the student/teacher relationship.Total distortion.

...we're based out of a community center with programs for elementary and middle school students. I'm always pretty vigilant, but now I'm going to double down on that vigilance.

It's been hitting me harder too as the day has worn to night.

I was in school when Columbine happened. The events of today are going to have tremendous impact on discussions among students tomorrow at school. The legacy of these horrors is just so destructive upon the psyche of the young people of our country. It's been 14 years since that horrible day, but it, and the days after that day, still seem like yesterday.

Every adult in America ought to take a long hard look in the mirror tomorrow morning.

This country needs to love its children more.

People say kids are resilient, but they still wonder with all the other crap they have to put up with, why people want to target and harm them. It shouldn't be so easy to hurt them. It should be almost impossible.

So many are hurting already, what events like today do to them culturally within their peer-groups is like a rot on an open wound, it jades them.

What happened today and in Oregon earlier this week were basically the acts of men who never grew up. Whatever was painful with Adam Lanza must have really hurt this morning...

Aww crap

They know that we care about them though. We can do that. It can't do everything, but they know that there are some adults who are there and present and paying attention in their lives.

It does kill you wondering who could have been there for the Adams of the world.

You guys all keep me sane. Nice to see you LWolf.

I went into a kindergarten classroom yesterday and sat there looking at those babies, wondering how anyone could ever want to hurt them.

I'll never understand. Never.

((hugs)) Even when the whole story finally comes out, it still won't make any sense. Those sweet little faces.

and have for the last 19 years-most in elementary. I have nothing but the utmost respect for my fellow educational colleagues. Although my job is tough, it is nothing compared to what my friends go through.

All of this anti teaching BS making the rounds has done nothing but raise my hackles. No one goes into this for the money, unless you are selling an educational plan. And if there plans are so good, why are scores dropping. All they are doing with this micromanaging is killing the joy learning and needlessly stressing teachers and kids.

I have had a very visceral reaction to the shooting. I hope something good comes out of this but I have been in eduction long enough to know not to hold my breath. Our Texas Education budget and Human Services (mental health) was cut by over 5 million each last year. It decimated us. Well, we have more money this year, but they have already laid off so many experienced teachers that they will never come back. I have had more than my fill so I am one step out the door myself.

You put your money with your treasure. This county treasures it's military, not its kids or people, and that is the plain honest truth.