Just make other plans.

Meet for coffee if you don't want to abandon your friendships--but playing the "having to be silent" card helps neither you nor them.

Having worked with animals all of my life I understand your love for animals. Your friends should ask once in awhile where you would like to go eat at. I am a meat eater but I also love vegetarian food also and I always make sure if I am going out with a person who is vegetarian that there is a vegetarian menu or the place is simply vegetarian. Good for you being Vegan and there is nothing wrong with that.

Meat eaters should be apologetic.

I will not eat any meat, even my fish and seafood, in front of a vegetarian. I think it's disrespectful.

Little story: My son not long ago was graduated and wanted to go to an expensive steak house to celebrate with his g.f. I ruined the whole celebration by losing control of my emotions. I couldn't eat and spent half the time sobbing in the restroom. Most of the time I'm calm and sometimes carnivorous but other times the reality of it all smacks me hard. I grew up on a farm, watching my baby calves hauled off. Childhood emotions and scars run the deepest and appeal to our better selves.

That summer I volunteered at my local Dem office and worked for Kerry: phone banking, knocking on doors, the whole bit. I was on social media at the time, too--Kerry's blog, which was right before I found DU.

Anyway, was super disappointed when he didn't win, and, living in a very red county, just got discouraged about the whole thing. So I turned to somewhere else to make a difference.

I started volunteering at a local no-kill animal shelter at the front desk at first, and socializing cats and kittens. Then I began to photograph cats and kittens for their listings on the shelter's website. After a few years of that, I got a partner to work with and took a photography class, and we got some lights and a proper little cat photography studio set up, to make even better photos. I've also helped out at fund raising events doing all sorts of things.

In addition to photography, I have been fostering kittens and cats for going on four years and have helped over 60 of them get a good start in life, and go on to find nice homes!

My shelter is a community of like-minded people and a fun place to be. We're all dedicated to the welfare of the animals. We are no-kill, and against declawing.

So I have turned my wish to make the world a better place by focusing on this little corner of it. (That explains my signature line.)

I still am interested in politics but it is not what I "do" to make a difference (other than sometimes commenting on it here at DU!).

Best of luck to you! Hope you find something similarly rewarding! And please don't apologize for being a vegan. Just be one. I am also mostly vegan (sometimes vegetarian) and know where you are coming from. Just ignore people that hassle you about it. They should ignore what is on your plate, and you should ignore theirs. Lead by example.

Yes, neither party, for the most part, gives a crap about animals one way or another. It's been that way for a long time. Probably won't change soon. Animal rights/welfare in politics is sometimes best left to the pros on this level.

You will probably be "defending" yourself for being vegan for a while. But, it's a good platform for promoting veganism at the same time. Think of it that way.

Unless it benefits them, never be silent. Treat them like you would clients for a job. I spoke at a convention and said the same thing. What are you ready to do? Send e-mails, write letters, petitions, donations, liberations.

Lastly, never look at it like a cliff here. I've been here 13 years, almost 70k posts, and I'd bet 75% of this site's posters hate me. That's largely my fault, as I'm a jerk. DU is a good place. Welcome to the Tofu Ghetto, again!

I am yet to retire "officially" and when I do I will focus on what I can do. I would love to be a part of something that makes a difference. I don't know what that will be, but I am a very passionate person when it comes to animal rights. I do envy those who liberate and wish that was in the cards for me, but I don't think I am that brave.
For now I am very vocal and always ready to discuss with those who actually want to learn. Also sharing on facebook to the point most of my friends now just ignore my posts. Now and then I get a comment along the lines of "how sad".
Anyway, thanks again and I must say I think I am in the same group as you on this site - 75% most likely hate me.
But I did get a good laugh about your being a jerk - I can relate.

I can't count the times I've been eating with meateaters and some nimrod comes up with variations on the theme of justifying the eating of other animals. They're like envious children. But that's what they're like. What they are is guilty so they cover their guilt with attacks and empty justifications. Sometimes it's been so disgusting that even if I still ate animals, I'd've been nauseated. I usually try to take the well-mannered approach of silence, but sometimes I just can't. I'm not going to stay silent anymore. I will first quietly and politely ask the person to stop. If the person is offended, I will simply point out that I politely asked them to stop and they chose not to, and that is the true offense.

One thing I've said for over 25 years is this: I didn't quit eating meat because I disliked it, I quit because I found out the truth. (That usually either causes a lightbulb to go on over their heads or it just plain stumps them.)

I was active in the AR movement for a long time. I still try to educate people on the differences between animal rights and animal welfare. The concerns and goals of the two movements sometimes overlap, but they are fundamentally different. The fatigue that comes from caring is real and there's no real "cure". Some people manage it, others never really get to that point, others take breaks, others become more aggressive (not violent), etc., etc. Find ways to vent, keep being an example of kindness, and, well, keep on keepin' on.

An aside for clarification: It's not "southern Democrats" who vote Republican, it's Dixiecrats. There's a big difference. I'm southern and a Democrat, but not a Dixiecrat. There are a lot of southerners who are Democrats, Progressives, Greens and Independents. It's not about being southern, it's really just about people. There are also lots of conservatives in blue states, and it's not about the geography, it's just about people.

I appreciate now knowing the nuances of southern democrats - It is too bad all the focus is on Dixiecrats. I will try to keep from labeling others by geography

It is so good to hear from others who get what I am talking about. I think most people convince themselves being vegan is an extreme diet.
I was so happy the day I realized that I did not see "meat" as food, but as the dead body of an animal.
People are weak, and adolescent, and the refusal to acknowledge the brutal suffering of animals for food just gets to me more and more each day.

I will share one story - I was at a party and one women kept going on and on about a veal recipe and I had finally had enough and asked if she could please change the subject because the one thing she is leaving out of the recipe was the cruelty to calf and the pain of the mother cow having her baby ripped away from her so it could go live a few weeks in a box. Yeah she shut up. And I did not feel the least bit awkward for speaking up.

Onward !