by my experience. Growing up in a rural town in the 70's there was no awareness of dys/trans needs. Gods I didn't even have the words to describe what I was going through. Now I'm reliant on care that makes it impossible for me to come out.

The woman is probably bitter, but I can see where she wouldn't have seen it coming. The trans woman probably had a lifetime of hiding experience as well ad being confused themselves.

I can't blame the woman for her anger, she would feel betrayed. I also feel the pain of the trans woman, having to rip themselves out of the life they created can't be easy.

Messy all round.

Dysphoria is the worst and every day I deal with it. I honestly think its horrible to feel like you have to hide it and you don't know how your girlfriend or spouse going to handle it.

My opinion if you love the person for them then who you are if you are a man or a transgender woman it shouldn't matter. But for some the shock is too much and they can't handle it because they don't understand.

is a form of hell. It is behind most of my distress in life.

I'm 30 I have a small gap left to change still. I gotta do it to be me. I'm highly feminine. Like everyone has seen it since I was a teen. I've been in extreme denial

I'm afraid. I hope you find more happiness in yourself in the future.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me too. I’ve been on HRT for 2 years. I’ve joined PFLAG meetings and was one of the youngest ones there, and I’m the same age as you!

Trust me I have so many questions. Normally the reddit groups I follow don't answer a lot to pre trans therapy.

I don’t really begrudge cisgender (non-trans) people who don’t understand. I imagine it’s kind of like how I don’t understand being born in a body that matches my gender. Coming out one day usually comes out of left field because a lot of us tried to play a part that wasn’t ours for years. We carry guilt, shame, and self-hatred for being who we are. We’re told to “just be normal,” so we desperately follow that advice.

Someone on Reddit had an interesting take. Imagine being born with a goofy clown mask that you are forced to wear 24/7. All people can see is the mask, and that’s what they know you as. Only you know that there is a real face underneath. The mask is itchy, hot, and gross, and eventually, you can’t take it anymore and have to take it off.

Nobody recognizes you. Some of them even want you to put the mask back on. However, you can’t - your face has felt freedom for the first time, and you never want to go back.

So, there probably is resentment, but she wants a husband that never existed. All that she saw and longs for was a goofy, uncomfortable mask.