The Case for Making Government Work for Single Cat Ladies

The Case for Making Government Work for Single Cat Ladies
PUBLISHED 7/26/2024 by Erika Felix
Instead of ignoring or making fun of us single people, listen to us.



In 2021, 52 (FIFTY TWO) percent of American women were unmarried or separated—a record-breaking number. (Rawlstock / Getty Images)

JD Vance’s incendiary comments about the Democratic Party being run by “miserable” single “childless cat ladies” has struck a major nerve. Political contests incentivize wild claims by people like Vance who are desperate for attention and power. In response, defenses in favor of Vice President Kamala Harris point out that she is a parent because of her stepchildren, which puts her in the same class as George Washington, a founding stepfather.

There’s less attention defending those of us who truly are single cat ladies. Nearly 20 years ago, social scientists Bella DePaulo and Wendy Morris aptly described singlism: the prejudice, stereotyping and discrimination toward singles. Since their article, the number of single households has only been growing. Instead of ignoring or making fun of us single people, listen to us. Singlism is not partisan. The stereotypes singlism engenders make many policies and practices across parties unjust. I saw this during the pandemic when many public health guidances and policies failed to reflect the reality of the 27.6 percent of single-person households.

Living alone during the pandemic was neither better nor worse than living with others, but the degree of isolation was exponentially different. We had to contend with what to do in case of illness and were frustrated by an exclusionary public narrative. Still, there were also benefits, such as not having to engage in caregiving, reduced risk of infection or transmission, and not having to adapt to others. As a psychologist and single cat lady at the start of the pandemic, I recognized how the ongoing social restrictions did not seem to consider the reality of single, non-elderly people. I joined forces with a single dog lady, and we designed the ‘Living Alone During the Pandemic’ study. Within this study, we interviewed single people of all genders across the country.

Our single participants desired some public recognition of their experience: public health advice tailored toward single households and ways to connect with others in the same experience. We were repeatedly told by participants how grateful they were that someone was asking for their perspective. Singlism bias and stereotyping extends to other areas of government and policy. With women’s healthcare on the ballot, our sexuality and choices about whether or not to have children have been under heightened scrutiny.

The discourse over student loan forgiveness during the Biden administration failed to mention single people, or how it would help us despite us paying a higher proportion of taxes than our married counterparts. We gladly pay taxes that support K-12 education, even though we have only an indirect benefit. Childcare tax credits and the tax deductions for dependent children are worth the investment. Though I would not benefit from Biden’s policy personally, my partner, a single cat dad, would benefit and so would many married people. I am privileged to live in a time where I do not have to marry for my economic survival, the way our foremothers often had to. Now, it is time to get rid of singlism. Single people serve their communities, have meaningful careers, benefit their families as aunts and uncles and are active participants in their faith communities. Do not use us to get attention on the news, and do not forget about us when you make policy.

https://msmagazine.com/2024/07/26/single-women-economy-childless-cat-lady/