Feminists

Gravitycollapse

(8,155 posts) Sun Sep 29, 2013, 08:00 AM Sep 2013

I don't like people who find my specific sexuality "sexy."

I'm nursing a hangover right now of biblical proportions. But I remember a very specific conversation between myself and another member of the house party last night. That is, she found the fact that I am bisexual sexually attractive.

I want my sexuality to be a sort of unspoken given. It simply is. It does not exist to satisfy the random whimsy of someone who sees bisexuality as some sort of novelty. And I think this is a legitimate issue for anyone who has a non-normative sexuality. To many, it becomes a fetish. And that's not okay.

8 replies

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Highlight:

I don't like people who find my specific sexuality "sexy." (Original Post) Gravitycollapse Sep 2013 OP

You are going to be fighting windmills over this... fitman Sep 2013 #1

You just fetishized bisexuality with that comment. Gormy Cuss Sep 2013 #4

Do you find the thought of two males getting it on to also be arousing? Sheldon Cooper Sep 2013 #5

So what if you just don't mention it? BainsBane Sep 2013 #2

Either a fetish or a scorecard. Gormy Cuss Sep 2013 #3

Interesting libodem Oct 2013 #6

Not really sure what to say. But nobody wants to be seen as a novelty or curiosity, I know that much nomorenomore08 Oct 2013 #7

I find it really odd.. LauraNb Oct 2013 #8

fitman

(482 posts)

1. You are going to be fighting windmills over this...

Reply to Gravitycollapse (Original post)

Sun Sep 29, 2013, 08:36 AM

Sep 2013

What is so wrong about finding bisexuality attractive anyway? Better this than hating or fearing it. Being a blonde haired guy myself I find brunettes and dark haired women very attractive (married one btw)...should that be wrong?

Very difficult for most people to fight their inner sexuality..what we find sensuous...I am a red blooded male..I find bisexuality attractive in a person...get very aroused over the thought of two attractive females getting it on...I know I'm not the only one..

I think finding bisexuality attractive is a good thing....

Gormy Cuss

(30,884 posts)

4. You just fetishized bisexuality with that comment.

Reply to fitman (Reply #1)

Sun Sep 29, 2013, 12:23 PM

Sep 2013

That's a really bad tack to make in this group. Either find a way to discuss the OP without doing so or delete this post.

Please understand this is a safe haven group where GravityCollapse does not need to defend the basic premise that non-normative sexualities are treated like novelties or fetishes.

Gormy Cuss,
a host of FG.

Sheldon Cooper

(3,724 posts)

5. Do you find the thought of two males getting it on to also be arousing?

Reply to fitman (Reply #1)

Sun Sep 29, 2013, 06:04 PM

Sep 2013

I mean, given your basic premise, I assume you do. And also, what exactly is a 'red blooded male'?

BainsBane

(54,553 posts)

2. So what if you just don't mention it?

Reply to Gravitycollapse (Original post)

Sun Sep 29, 2013, 09:20 AM

Sep 2013

And let them get to know you and find you sexy for other reasons?

Gormy Cuss

(30,884 posts)

3. Either a fetish or a scorecard.

Reply to Gravitycollapse (Original post)

Sun Sep 29, 2013, 12:10 PM

Sep 2013

She probably thought it was a compliment, just like the people who think they can "turn" someone's sexuality by their awesomeness.

I hope that the more knowledgeable people become with the range of human sexuality, the less this will happen.

libodem

(19,288 posts)

6. Interesting

Reply to Gravitycollapse (Original post)

Tue Oct 1, 2013, 05:19 PM

Oct 2013

This is an interesting topic. Thought provoking. You have every right to feel like you feel. But it is still reassuring to have one's feeling validated.
I'll bet the person in question meant well. She may have been trying to say she was cool with everything and not judging you. It can be ackward if one is exposed to a type of sexuality that is new to them. You have a chance to be an ambassador to the uninitiated. Be kind.

nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)

7. Not really sure what to say. But nobody wants to be seen as a novelty or curiosity, I know that much

Reply to Gravitycollapse (Original post)

Mon Oct 7, 2013, 09:58 PM

Oct 2013

Which is why I tend to look askance at someone who gets over-excited about, for instance, having a "gay friend" - as if said friend were merely one more fashion accessory.

LauraNb

(34 posts)

8. I find it really odd..

Reply to Gravitycollapse (Original post)

Fri Oct 11, 2013, 09:42 AM

Oct 2013

Ok, they might find YOU attractive because you are an attractive person, but not because of your sexuality.
Also, why do people make a fuss about having a gay friend, aren't they just friends. YOu wouldn't refer to someone as your straight friend.

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