How exactly do you, (and I reference a quote from the story here):

"this is the exact narrative that has to disappear if we want women in leadership positions, in popular culture or in the public eye"

make the chief cause for a person's downfall and death 'disappear'?

Addiction knows no gender, it is an illness, to suggest otherwise (ie that the pressures unique to a woman drove her to drugs) refutes all scientific knowledge of the tragedy that is substance abuse.

As for Don Cornelius, the Times obit DID mention his domestic abuse, and I would also point to the coverage about abuse that Ike Turner received when he died.

I do agree that Houston had many other problems, many did indeed stem from sexism and racism, but her illness is what brought her down at the end of the day. IMHO

I'm not sure how I feel about the sentence you quote. Instinctively I agree with that sentence because it's the the cause of her death that needs to disappear, it's the focus the media puts on it.

There was nary a word about Steve Job's drug use or the way he abandoned his family. That struck me. And the Times may have mentioned Don Cornelius' domestic abuse but that's just it. They just *mentioned* it. You had to go looking for the details. In Whitney's case the details were the story.

I go back and forth on that sentence, not sure how I really feel about it. I wasn't around for this but when Elvis died, was drug use the first thing they talked about or was it his accomplishments? Or, honest question, is that the disrespect reserved for women?

I honestly don't know. I thought the author brought up some good points women need to think about and wanted to share it. I'm kind of weird. I don't elevate feminism over other isms. I don't think the disrespect to Whitney should be done to anyone. My concern as a woman, is that the sisters need to come together and support each other regardless of color, religion and all the other neat little categories they throw us in. It's a class war and we're the "nigger of the world", as John and Yoko put it so well, with Black women at the bottom of the pile.

I posted that article mostly for thought because I'd like to see a world where sisters all come together in solidarity the class war being waged against all of us.

Everything's circular. How much did sexism and racism exacerbate her fragility and illness? Don't get me wrong, Whitney was a big girl who made her own choices and paid for them. But how many of those choices would have been different in a world without sexism? And racism?

No answers here dear Stockholmer. I'm just thinking out loud.

thanks for the well written response!

what I have been thinking about since Whitney's passing is would this of happened to her if she had followed her true heart?

The questions you have raised are good ones. But I have moved my thoughts a step further back and tried to comprehend the pressures from her family, the church and community, and people promoting her career and dependant on her successes.

She was open, some would say careless, early in her career when she did not bother to hide her relationships with women. Who or what got to her? I assume there were many factors but what if she had used her remarkable talent not to the benefit of her first family but for herself and her greater family?

She did not owe us anything. I have not walked in her shoes and I certainly can not tell myself that I would have been strong enough to make better personal decisions than Whitney did under her circumstances. But I so wish she was not gone.

I wish she could of found and remained in a safe harbour.

There were always rumors about her and Robin Crawford (Crawford even appeared in one of Whitney's videos. Can't remember the song but Whitney was in "drag" and wooing a woman in it) and I wondered if that is why she was so unhappy with Brown. However, music stars getting caught up in drugs isn't new; it's sometimes encouraged by music biz execs. We'll probably never really know what led her down the path she took but if it's because she wasn't allowed, because of her career, to be happy, that's just a sad statement on our society. Damn sure no one close to the family is going to come out and tell the truth.

Families and society make it so hard for us to follow our hearts. Then add something as tight as the Black Church on top of that and the picture is complete.

I don't think this would have happened if she'd followed her heart and had a strong supportive partner she could openly love by her side.

We've got a long fight ahead of us so this doesn't keep destroying people and they can draw strength from their safe harbors instead.

Shelter from the storm as Dylan put it.

I don't know why but while I was reading your post, I kept thinking of her song "Where Do Broken Hearts Go"

Whitney Houston died of a lethal combination of prescription drugs Xanax and Valium with alcohol. Each of these are legal drugs. Two were prescribed to her by a physician.

Despite the headlines and reminders that Whitney struggled with cocaine and other illegal drug addictions, it turns out that the cause of her death was legal drugs.Yes, it was irresponsible of her to drink while taking those prescription drugs. It was also highly irresponsible, imo, for a physician to prescribe Valium to somebody with known drug and alcohol problems.

media reports that it was all Bobby Brown's fault that she was destroyed by drugs and alcohol, as though she was incapable of making her own choices and could do only what the man in her life made her do or let her do.

It was on Lifetime. They were showing The Bodyguard and since it had been so long since I'd seen it I tuned it. Anywho, I watched the Biography show on her too. I was impressed with it, they didn't put all the blame on Bobby Brown.

It was a pretty interesting show.

Both of them were adults and knew what they were doing. And we can't blame Bobby Brown for all the heartache and pressures in Whitney's life any more than we came blame him if she had a genetic predisposition to addiction.

I did drugs when I was younger because I wanted to, not because my ex thrust them on me. And it's a good thing that was at a happy time in my life because I shudder to think what could have happened if, at the time they were available, I had all the pressure and heartbreak Whitney had to deal with. It would have been my choice not anyone else's.

The weak little woman meme is so infuriating.

When Kurt Cobain shot himself, his drug use was part of the narrative. But in that case, a lot of the blame then shifted to Courtney Love, who was accused of driving him to use and to kill himself (and perhaps even having a direct hand in killing him). He's still considered a sensitive genius who happened to use large amounts of narcotics.

When female celebrities encounter the same pitfalls of fame, history seems to judge her character forever after in a way that overshadows any huge talent she had. Marilyn Monroe is one example of how her tragic overdose is fetishised even decades after it happened.

Yoko Ono. I think you've got a point. Somehow there's almost always a woman to blame (even if it's the woman herself).

It's insanity. As if one woman would have that much power.

but was more than ambivalent about independently leaving. He was passive-aggressive. In other words, he wanted to leave but didn't want to take responsibility (take the heat from the other members and others) for doing it. He announced that he was leaving and let others blame Yoko for the split instead of defending her and claiming the idea solely as his own.

I find this side of the story to be credible as John always was a little insecure and Yoko, being an artist, would not have dictated how John pursued his art.

When I was typing my response to Stockholmer (post #2), this sentence "Or, honest question, is that the disrespect reserved for women? " originally read "Or, honest question, is that disrespect reserved for women and minorities?" because I kept thinking of this little guy and his heartbreaking death the entire time

This country does not value women of color at all.

(so to speak) when they succumbed to the combination of celebrity, insecurity, pain, and painkillers.

Judy Garland
Billie Holiday
Janis Joplin
Amy Winehouse

It seems as though their deaths are used to invalidate their legacies.

People still think she choked to death eating; in fact, she had been fasting most of a week for four weeks and had lost 80 pounds, which may have contributed to the fatal heart attack which really killed her.

She WAS good . . . .

I do think that women are singled out for ridicule and more easily dismissed than men in similar circumstances. When Jerry Garcia (also overweight) died of a heart attack while attempting to get off heroin, there were no rumors that he had choked to death while eating, committed suicide, accidentally overdosed, or any of the other media rumors that are typical when female entertainers die. Those rumors directed at women - I think of Marilyn Monroe, too - often belittle and infantilize their deaths.

Her attempt to become more "socially acceptable" - thin - by fasting 4 days a week for over a month and losing I believe 80 pounds in 2 months (unbelievably dangerous) at least contributed to her death. Saying she was eating a ham (pig - get it, ha ha ha ) sandwich and choked ... because she wanted food in so much she didn't even chew? Jewish woman eating treyf? It's just offensive on so many levels.

Not shocked, mind you, just mad. The media has no shame. None. They hover over death like vultures. I remember growing up in the 80s and 90s and thinking Whitney Houston had a jawdropping singing voice. She had a three octave scale...a truely amazing gift.

She deserves better then this.