And it was very vague as to what you were asking for, or if that was an offer. To our perspective, it comes down to this also, why ask us? I've been some sort of "evil dictator." Ever since the split. (Thank iverglas for all that.) By now there are other sources by which you could have asked. Not that I'm against you coming here at all. Everyone has been welcome as long as blatant sexism, ageism or transphobia is out of the discussion. Some of which was in the infamous flame-war.

Also, I'm okay with th word lady. Some people aren't though.

to me - it's a word to describe a group of women and "Women..." kind of sounds clunky (sounds like "Gentlemen, start your engines" or something. Don't let one person (or even a few people) speak for all women (or feminists). That's how we got in this mess.

Truthfully, I had no idea what that post was about and perceived that it was an attempt to start trouble. I had not seen the post you were questioning over in GD and thought maybe you had gotten us confused with the History of Feminism forum (thought maybe one of them might have given you shit or something) Given the hell the Feminist forum has gone through the last few months, it was more like "Oh, god, not going through this shit again".

I don't think I have as many issues with words as some other women. Obvious words like "p*ssy", "b**ch", "c*nt"... there's really no mistaking that those are misogynistic and I'm not likely to accept someone saying "I didn't know". I'm not that fond of douchebag, either, but other women have not had a problem with that one. But... *I* am not the arbiter of words that are OK to use. I am uncomfortable with any one person or group of people being the arbiter of words that are allowed to be used.

I had to look "candy ass" up, because I truthfully didn't know if it was sexist or not. It didn't seem to be, but then someone else pointed out that it might be homophobic. I do not understand people that get all up in arms the first time a kind of nebulous word is used.

I don't see why people can't be more civil and say "Hey, Trumad - that word is kind of used to describe this bad thing and you should probably avoid using it", instead of "Hey Trumad, you sexist asshole, I'm coming for you with my pitchfork". I think you know which words are obviously sexist. After that, do the best you can and hope that people don't jump on you - both guns a blazing. I know how that feels and it's not at all fun.

(by the way - I do really appreciate you coming back and explaining. I would have had no clue without this post)

Good of you to take the time to explain yourself here and that is appreciated.

I just assumed you were up to some mischief with that question yesterday, thats all there was to it.

As far as the word - I'm not all that familiar with it but think it has something to do with insulting men by giving them women qualities, that is the one way to insult a guy the most and we hear references to it all the time.

Like you I have learned a lot from DU and don't use certain words now (still do some pretty hefty general swearing tho but am working on that) and don't try to tell people how they should feel about something if it's not possible for me to have Been in that situation.

sorry about yesterday, but things work out fine usually, don't they.

I guessed that about your first OP. I knew a lot of the other stuff from reading your posts over the last 10 years - I've never doubted you were an ally (and I believe at one time we were both Kansas Citians, and I know how we talk).

As I said in your Meta thread a couple times, I go with Partridge's definition: a weak person. I've heard it applied to men, women, cars ...

I add in my kids yeas as well.

For each year my kid is living with me---add 7 years to my life.

I have 3 kids---18---17---15...x 7....