I have no idea why doctors are continuing to be so rudely and inappropriately paternalistic. I had a fight to get an IUD and those were considered temporary. A little present from one of my ex's girlfriends made sure that it was permanent.

I knew at the age of eight or nine that the last thing I ever wanted to be called was "Mama." I never played with dolls and showed absolutely no aptitude for or interest in motherhood.

I often wonder what would have happened if I'd approached it as "This is the only way you will be able to prevent abortions." I'm sure Dr. Patronizing would have to pick his lower jaw off the floor.

I knew I didn't want children when I was nine!

When it became apparent that my kidneys agreed with my reproductive choice and I was told that I should not attempt a pregnancy, I asked to be sterilized. Oh no, we don't do that on women your age. Since I'd just been treated for cancer, my choices at that time were Shit, Go Blind or Depo Provera - which turns out to be not that great for kidney patients either, but better than pregnancy.

The doc (male) told me that every woman should experience pregnancy. I tuned him out and proceeded with the tubal. One of the best things I ever did. I never, even for a moment, entertained the thought of having children.

Most of those resistant to performing tubal ligations on young women phrase it as preserving the option should the women change their minds, but to say women need to experience pregnancy is just ridiculous.

It's anecdotal but so far I've never encountered an early adopter of tubal ligation who later regretted it. Some women just know that they don't want to have children early on.

no problem... in Vermont

My doc did a fulguration because she didn't want to have to do it again!

And after I left, I was so determined that no one would have control over my body that I tried to get my tubes tied (I was 24). No doctor would do it without my ex-husband's permission until I was legally divorced or 25 years old. Pissed me off so much that it became my priority in life to get my tubes tied.

I got divorced, turned 25 and scheduled the surgery. I actually do regret it now, but that's only because I met and married an awesome man (tkmorris) who had no biological children of his own just 2 years later. He raised my daughters as his own children, but we have always wanted to have a child together and getting tubes untied is expensive.

But the attitude that I couldn't do something without my ex-husband's permission always angered me.

"According to the Collaborative Review of Sterilization (CREST) study, the cumulative probability of expressing regret following tubal sterilization was 12.7% (95% CI, 11.2–14.3). Several patient characteristics have been determined to be predictors of regret: young age at the time of sterilization, sterilization postpartum, divorce and/or remarriage subsequent to sterilization, being poor (eg, Medicaid patients), and being of Hispanic origin. Reprinted from Fertility and Sterility, Volume 74, Schmidt JE et al, “Requesting information about and obtaining reversal after tubal sterilization: findings from the U.S. Collaborative Review of Sterilization,” pp. 892–898, Copyright 2000, with permission from Elsevier."

I fit that profile to a T. Medicaid would not pay for other long-term methods of birth control that couldn't be taken away by the dominant partner in the relationship (Norplant for example). My birth control pills were always found and destroyed by my ex-husband.

Have a kid and regret it, you're screwed for the rest of your life.

I had to tell the doctor I would get an abortion if I got pregnant again before he'd agree to do it. I can't believe how much work it took. And I could only find the one who "still did that" in the first place.

since the failure rates are comparable and the risks are generally lower.

Those can be great for those who have given birth, but many of those devices just don't work for nullaparas - our anatomy is often just too small.

Including countries where the populations run smaller than most Americans. That you can't is largely an urban legend.

I've been baby-proofed for over a decade now, but way back when, there just weren't things small enough to fit me - except pediatric speculums. Even when I had my ablation, despite there being newer and better technology, I had to undergo a hydrothermal ablation, because there weren't appliances small enough for my uterus. The last time I saw my doc - who is awesome about making sure her Child-free patients get the fertility care they want - she couldn't wait to tell me she got in a NovaSure device suitable for NPs.

I got one, and they even gave me fun drugs afterwards!

Whooopeeee!!!!

This is the obvious solution for couples who are in committed relationships, but it takes a man who is self-confident and responsible. My former husband was very happy to get a vasectomy. It made our life much simpler and I'm sure that he's never had a moment's regret. It saved me having to undergo a much more invasive procedure.

My ex (we were never married, thanks be) had a vasectomy and walked home from it. No problem.

I had a very, very rare complication from my tubal fulguration due to my weird health issues (small intestine was bruised during retraction). Nonetheless, I felt well enough to do my laundry at a laundromat the same day. Not true of my upper ureteroscopy/YAG laser procedure (etc - there was a shitload of equipment up in there) to remove a a staghorn forming in my the bottom of a kidney; I could barely move for days after that, and no extra openings were cut to do it!

so it was free for me to do it, or we'd pay for him to do it. He said he'd do it anyway and that those decisions shouldn't be based on money, but to me it was 6 of one, half dozen of the other, and I'd rather not spend the money.

who don't plan to keep the same partner forever. Great idea for a permanent couple though.

I plan on being with him until fertility isn't an issue and beyond - but I like having my body the way I want it, and for me, that means no Fallopian tubes and no endometrium. Him having a vasectomy resolves some things, but it doesn't make me any less fertile. To some women, this does matter!

I got turned down five times- three before the kids and two after.

I mentioned that to a friend some years back (right after rejection #4 I think) and their genius idea was "Why not just have ______ get a vasectomy? Problem solved! heh heh heh". I was living with two guys, and this person knew it- that's two vasectomies, not one, so wouldn't it be easier and more sensible to just have ME done? I mean, I'm the one who has to worry about getting pregnant, so...

It seriously irked me that at 34 I was still too immature to decide if I wanted kids or not, so a man had to do it for me AND be the one to control it.

Isn't maddening how all these doctors say we'll change our minds when we say we don't want a(nother) child, but if we're pregnant at any age - no questions about that.

Maddening isn't the right word. Infuriating!

I feel compelled to add that after getting the runaround for years, I asked my male PCP for a referral, who provided one to my current GYN. Neither asked anything beyond required informed consent and were very supportive of my decision. Good doctors are out there but it takes lots of asking sometimes

You mean discuss it as equals and the wife can offer her opinion but ultimately has no say over what he does with his body.

...but see above where I detail the extremely rare complication I had from mine, which almost qualifies!

and this weekend decided I am not getting a refill on my pills when this pack runs out. I want the Essure permanent birth control but it needs backup methods for about 3 months and I really don't want to go back on my decision about the pill.

I mentioned a vasectomy to my partner but just gave me that look. I might just tell him that I have been the responsible one for the 17 years we have been together and it is his turn.

I had mine tied at 21 about 18 months after my son was born.

The doctor did ask me several questions and told me he thought that I was way to young to do this but that he respected that I was certain I wanted to do this. He did a laparoscopic tubal banding with silicone bands, he said if there were a reversible procedure this would be the easiest to reverse. I am in my 50's now and I don't regret doing it.