He cleaned. Worked out great!

Thanksgiving and the rest of the year too. Works for us. However, on major holidays the kitchen is "casually unkempt" (leftovers put away but not much else) after dinner until guests leave so we can enjoy their company. Grandma is no doubt rolling in the grave.

unless the head mover and shaker demands otherwise. Back home one of the biggest differences of opinion was whether the head cook would allow help with cleanup. It was a ritual at most meals. Maybe it was a southern thing.

Nobody in their right mind would eat what I cook.

but I add a bunch of side dishes. Afterwards, we all cleanup.

Pretty typical, since she's the better cook.

and that is final. I refuse to do both.

Luckily this wasn't a problem this year, because we went to his niece's house for dinner.

My ex did get the turkey in the oven but that's all she could handle before going to bed.

we'll pitch in with putting away the leftovers, but we don't do the dishes.

So there's no problem there with turning it into a one-woman-band. Besides, that way I know I'll get something I like to eat. Don't care for creamed onions? Too bad: they're my favs. And marshmallows in the candied sweet potatoes are gross. If others want to bring a dish, that's fine too. Most of the really great Thanksgivings I've ever attended were at least partly pot luck.

But the clean up? Ick. It's like mopping up after sex. If you enjoyed the ride, you help pick up afterwards. And even if you didn't, it's the gracious thing to do. At other people's houses, I always start by busing the empty plates, and rinsing them.