While retirement benefits impact your SSI benefits, these private funds usually do not change your SSDI amount. If your pension or retirement plans come from an employer that did not withhold Social Security taxes, your monthly payments may be affected.

It sounds as if SSDI is NOT affected IF the pension employer withheld SS tax.

Yes, I paid SS taxes out of my job with the pension. I just expect the worst of this country towards ppl like me. Now I have to find out if my SO's pension will lower it

That is probably best answered by SSA directly.