sounds like the exact things that docs miss when it’s a woman talking.
and sounds like me rn. nothing threatening my life, just stuff that makes me miserable.
my melanoma was treated quickly. my diverticulitis, not so much. 2 trips to the er in recent weeks. got great care and big antibiotics the 1st time. 2 wks later, when i was still in a lot of pain i went back. wasnt in a crisis, but know how long the op system takes v how quick things happen in the er. i was not willing to wait weeks and weeks for every test/appt. this is urgent.
they repeated tests, which got worse. wbc higher, despite ab’s, rbc dropping. and liver inflamed, likely from ab’s.

i know how this stuff works, so ate/acted to minimize the pain. it’s less frequent, but just as bad.
well, i looked and felt fine for the several hours i sat there and actually got shamed for using the mostly empty er to get care quicker. but i got the urgent gi referral, which was my goal.
urgent means i have an appt in a month. i’m on the ‘hot list’, but i suspect that my informed management of my symptoms will mean i wait the whole month. the part where it’s sucking up most of my life to do it is not in my favor.

i think they just assume that if the pain is bad enough to bring a man to the er, it must b a crisis. but a woman w a thick med file like me must just b a whiner. they didnt even ask about pain meds. they gave me 10 norco 1st time, but i didnt take them. they didnt even ask me what i was taking, or did i need more. i took 1 for the 1st time that day. think i told them that. but they didnt see me cryin, so they assumed.
i’m sure if i’d asked, they’d have assumed i was just drug seeking.
women’s pain is ignored more often than not.

Your last paragraph is very true. If the pt is a woman either it’s all in her head or she’s a whiner. I’m not saying every time of course, but I saw it happen often with my mother.

I went to the ER thinking I may have Covid-heart rate was 118 sats were dropping a little and the dr did not even give me an EKG. Got a chest X-ray, and had to ask for something to calm me down and bring down my heart rate. I wasn't feeling well at all. My blood test was supposedly normal except my glucose was a little high and my WBC's were high. I had some ketones noted. I was treated like I was making a big deal when my heart rate kept creeping past 100 and went to 141 when I moved around and was talking. I asked the nurse for a different dr. Dr comes in again, I tell her I have this pressure on my left side. The dr who was a younger female kept trying to say I was dehydrated. I told her I had a degree in nursing and one in respiratory therapy and I knew my symptoms were not simply dehydration. I pointed to the monitor and said that is tachycardia. Even the nurse acted like I was a drama queen telling me i should go home and relax. WTF?? They wanted to release me. Next thing I know I'm getting a chest scan. I had pneumonia which did not show on the x-ray, I assume. WTF. The thing is my brother went to the same emergency ward with a history of VT and got excellent care, just one day earlier. Nobody told him to go home and relax or treated him like a med seeker.

that a woman doctor would treat a woman patient that way. That had to be beyond frightening, I’m so sorry.

I just hope my experience shows women to ask for a second opinion if they think they are being dismissed, the life they save may be their own. They kept talking down to me, like I was a child. I am writing a letter to complain about it.

Good for you!! I hope it opens some eyes.