All I can say is find a meeting and keep going until you figure out a better way. No one goes to a meeting unless they want to stop. I can't think of a better place to talk about a relapse.

If you're in Japan you may find a meeting near you.

http://aatokyo.org/findameeting.html

I have bookmarked the site. I will discuss it with the wife. I will need to explain my absences as well as the commuting costs. The closest meeting will cost about 20 USD return.

Are you religious rug? If not, how did you reconcile yourself to the acceptance of religion as part of the 12 steps?

I would almost guarantee that if you get to a meeting, and get a temporary sponsor, you will get a ride. The trip would just be another meeting.

One thing I did hear in meetings many times is that nothing would stop me from getting a drink. Nothing can stop you from reaching out to other alcoholics.

Meanwhile, there are real-time on-line meetings.

http://www.aaonline.net/

I never went to one but I'm glad they're there.

I am religious. I'm a Catholic but not very good at it.

When I stopped drinking the "God" aspect didn't concern me too much. For one thing, the whole notion of a higher power for me boiled down to a realization that, whatever it is, it wasn't me. That came along with the realization that, dead or alive, the world continued without me and I should let go of trying to control everything about my life. Whether it is simply the huddled masses of humanity or a conventional notion of God, life goes on and I should stop worrying and battling.

The other point about God and AA is that I needed and desperately wanted to stop drinking. The last thing I wanted was to discuss theology in a roomful of drunks. And we didn't. There is a lot of wisdom in the rooms that comes solely from shared personal experiences. For me, God wasn't the main point of AA at all.

Finally, what it boils down to is how badly you need to stay sober. When I began that was what I needed above all else. Because if I didn't get it, there would be nothing else.

Do what you can to get started. Everything about AA is voluntary. Take what you need and leave the rest. After a while, when you regain the luxury of thought and choice, you can argue about God and religion all you want. I do and it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Meanwhile there are a whole bunch of atheist and agnostic meetings, not all of which are officially connected with AA.

http://aaagnostica.org/

http://www.aabeyondbelief.com/

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-84_manypathstospirituality.pdf

Don't get all twisted up about getting sober. It really is only one day at a time.

Some kind of higher power helps us to stay sober. Each person picks his or her own higher power.. For me, it is the essence of people caring about each other..So, as I walk through the food store, and I pass the booze, and I think about it for a moment, I ask me if it would be really caring for me if I bought and drank that..Or, If there were 50 grandmas from all over who were the essence of caring, what would they recommend to me to drink that bottle and get smashed...

Well, they would say no...and I get a choice to listen or not listen. The additional message they would tell me is that I probably could not stop at a bottle and there would be a lot more. So, I say no. No bottle today and it is just for today.

Is that too much religion for you? Remember, you pick your higher power. Many pick God, but any idea will do. Love, peace and caring, the power of not hurting people, anything greater than me. You need something.,but remember this, and this is most important................................................

the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.............So It does not say you need a higher power, it does not need you to stay perfectly sober......... yes, at meetings ..please you cannot drink...but most meetings have seen people who cannot get off of the booze...But , if you give it a chance, and ..listen as best as you can, AA can help..so..it won't hurt to go to a few meetings..good luck...

Look up a meeting. If none close to where you live then there are online meetings. I need the help of fellow alcoholics to stay sober. It has saved my life.