Addiction & Recovery
Related: About this forumI wshould not be this strssed
I am a recovering drinker,,92 days I have a handicap daughter 31 yo and I believe,,,what I believe,,, tonmight on Du pushed me ovwesr edge. I made a post to enhancccew discusssion. 1 pewrson wanted to bring up my y extera commas, I have parkinsonns when I get excited ,,, myy hands trembale,,,, moree so since I stoppped drinking. Nows, I will go back to spellcheck and use it
It takews me 3 or 4 times longer to make a post,, I have to go back and correct. Ive lingered here quietly, but this ass questioned me tonight,,why so many commas? I am just me I fight my booze every morning,,but booze has nothing to do with my shaking.. I ma so angry right now at this person,,, how do we deal with it without booze? I want some rum right now
Kali
(55,735 posts)She drank from 8th grade until probably 10 days ago. She leaves 2 daughters who never knew her. Maybe think about your child and remember to be present for her. What some poster on the Internet does is irrelevant.
kozar
(2,850 posts)this is my 1st big obstacle to my recovery,, I thought I had a block because I sing for my dhhgtr, and mde a CD for her..a church contacted me and wants me to sing at servive,,, I chose to sing,, but I wont do piano,,too much stress I even stilll have red lines here, IO cannot correct,,, tonight ,,hit me hard.
kozar
(2,850 posts)and I am so sorry for your loss
Turbineguy
(38,372 posts)I hope your relatives and friends are there to lend a hand.
kozar
(2,850 posts)Freedomofspeech
(4,378 posts)I misspelled a word in one of my posts and someone attacked me....I am very limited as to what I post for that reason. I should think this would be a safe place but there is always someone who has to be a smart ass . The vast majority of people here are truly kind. You take care and rest knowing that people do care for you.
kozar
(2,850 posts)this now,, I hve family,supporting me,,, until today,,, I thought DSu would support me GD proved me wrong today
GitRDun
(1,846 posts)Ignore the loser who said something about the commas.
Post away and enjoy yourself.
I've been trashed plenty of times here by folks who said things they would no way say if I were standing in front of them.
It's no different than those idiots who cut in line in their cars.
Some see the anonymity of the internet as a license to ridicule, or be cruel.
Don't take it on you! IT'S ON THEM...
Peace!
kozar
(2,850 posts)everywher,, I have my whole life,, Trust me,,Im trying to ignore...this one hurt
Stuart G
(38,726 posts)Great Advise ...Yes, we have a few losers here at Democratic Underground. Yes, I have been corrected too, (it was a while ago) but we cannot give up. Letting go of drinking and drugs is very hard. Please "Ignore the Looser and concentrate on the winners. Most of us support and do not criticize...
irisblue
(34,252 posts)Spell check is my friend.
kozar
(2,850 posts)spellchecked used,,, Im calmer now,, it works then,, My finngers slow down
irisblue
(34,252 posts)Some people suck bilge water
kozar
(2,850 posts)Im working oin that too
irisblue
(34,252 posts)I have done that, when I have posted, here or on another social media place and see what/ how I posted with an alcohol influence, I have felt, again, that shame that for all the reasons.
92 days is a big freaking deal and you earned and deserve praise and encouragement and respect for that.
But I still react,,even without the rum,, Im learning and trying,ty for the help and reply,,, still using spellchk,,but less as Im calmong down
Alpeduez21
(1,861 posts)Its hard to fight every trauma and condition to walk this path. There will always be those who critique. You could explain about your Parkinsons or dont reply to posts that you hate
I can only clean my side of the street. I cant control others. 92 days is a long time. Congratulations!!👍👍👍. The person who is sober longest is the one who got up earliest today. You are loved and worthy of a sober life
kozar
(2,850 posts)yes,,it is 1 day
kozar
(2,850 posts)(spellcheck used) disclaimer posted
and this much support! I will see day 93,, I see my psyche every Fri. not sure I will be able to ty in this group,, but is a new goal of mine
my fingers still put in extra comma!!!
irisblue
(34,252 posts)What kind of device are you using? Would a traditional keyboard or a speech to text be easier for you? My phone keyboard is only 4 inches wide & I have "fat finger syndrome"
kozar
(2,850 posts)it is a koz thing,,I get stressed and my fingers move to fast,when I get really stressed,, my eyes and brain miss all the red lines I should spellcheck,,, trust me talk to text is useless,, I have North Dakota accent even though I live in TN,and I am so old,,that I can actually believe I can type without my dentures in,,,, hmmm lets add 2 plus 2 lol
The Velveteen Ocelot
(120,815 posts)I can adjust my mac keyboard for how fast the keys repeat - if you have that feature and adjust for a slower repeat speed, that might solve the problem. Anyhow, don't worry about someone's comma comments. They didn't know the cause and probably wouldn't have said anything if they knew. Some stuff just isn't worth it.
kozar
(2,850 posts)I have keys to lowest,,,when I get upset like what I hope you read tonight (wasnt your posts) my fingers go bonkers,,, nd then sometmmes I just push send
The Velveteen Ocelot
(120,815 posts)I just attributed it to a stuck comma key but didn't think it was something that needed remarking on.
kozar
(2,850 posts)but yeah,, when someone wants to comment off topic just to be,,,whatever they are trying to be,,, I will and do, respond with truth.
once again Vel,,have a great holiday weekend,,,Im trying to find balance
Koz
Stuart G
(38,726 posts)found out that there is NO, I REPEAT ,NO,,,, PUNCUTUATION POLICE!!!
none at all,
not even one,
no police,
no one cares,
no penalties for missing commas,
no penalties for capitalization mistakes,
no fines
no jail time
no tickets and take away your posts..if you put a period.... in the wrong place.....or too many .....................
I talked to the police...and they don't give a s**t..
Stuart G
(38,726 posts)and found this truth,,,,,THERE IS NO,,,EXTRA COMMA POLICE,,,HERE AT DEMOCRATIC,,,,,UNDERGROUND,,,,
NO PUNCTUATION POLICE.........AND NO SPEELLINGG POLIIECE......and that is the law,,,,,,rite hear at
Demacraticc UNdergrounnd ...got that???....Stuart GGG..???
kozar
(2,850 posts)Omg,,do I type that poorly when upset? I need auto spellcheck that slaps my face?
Marie Marie
(10,004 posts)Most people here are kind and polite and just try to understand posts as written. I'll bet that for some on here, English might be a second language or grammar is just not their strong suit. Maybe something to keep in mind when we see a post which isn't perfect. Please don't blow your sobriety over an extra comma or two.
kozar
(2,850 posts)I got very upset on DU and my fingers went crazy.. I have lurked here, and tonight I reached out,, and you all helped. we got this ,,together,,I thank you all
calguy
(5,767 posts)It's very simple and yet so hard. You simply "Let it Go". That's it.
Sound like something impossible?
It's not. No one can fuck with your mind without your permission.
There's a good book out there I would recommend.
" Letting Go, The Pathway Of Surrender" by Dr. David R. Hawkins.
Not the only book on the subject, the one first comes to my mind. I've had it in audio and text for quite a while. Read it several times. Always gain new insights when I get into it.
Just a little something sincerely shared to hopefully shed some light.
kozar
(2,850 posts)I wish and hope,,and OMG even try ,to say Let it go,, and if it was just me, I could( hopefully) I have always been a yes person,,make everyone happy. Until I adopted my Tess. 23 years old when I adopted,,31 now. I even spent 6 years working in upper mgmnet in mentally challenged adults since then. I have retired. I dont know how I handled tonight without booze,, prolly wife ,,prolly holiday weekend,,prolly I realized I was dealing with an ass on here.
I do know facts,,,fact is When I got pissed here on DU,,I stewed,,got pissed,,replied to all their comments on my posts. All that is here on this site and you can read.
Then I did something different,, I made a post to this group I have been lurking in.. and all of a sudden, I am replying to them, not to the ass who pissed me off.
So that is the only answer I have for tonight. I will sleep with the thought "today worked" tommorow,,we all fight again
Koz
calguy
(5,767 posts)Think of the time spent tonight, the emotional stress experienced, and the other shit I'm not aware of that you went thru. Would it have been more pleasurable to do something else? Letting go of a trivial post that some asshole wrote, someone you don't know and who does not know you, could have avoided the entire event in an instant. Holding on to those trivial words causes eternal stress and other various negative effects to whatever degree we allow and for as much time as we allow.
I wish you Peace my friend.
Tech
(1,922 posts)I am from a family of educators, have 2 degrees, and used to write beautifully before spell check. I remember being excited about typewriters that corrected. My skills have degraded with my health.
I have worked with so many people from different backgrounds. The most important thing to me is the ability to communicate, to get ideas across. I lived in Turkey as a young woman, did not know the language. The family I stayed with knew some English. We often communicated through what we called "Tarzan English".
I have no problem with the grammar police. One of my sisters was a phys ed teacher who would correct grammar on gym tests. She wasn't wrong, as she was an educator.
I am not sure they are of use here, but we all have our peeves don't we?
So put them on ignore, focus on yourself and your family and your sobriety. Share your views confident that many of us enjoy hearing from you, and hang in there through the holidays.
Good luck to you!
elleng
(136,043 posts)dchill
(40,468 posts)sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)💓 🙏
mr_lebowski
(33,643 posts)Don't think of it as 'starting over' ... when you get to 364 out of 365 (as a for-instance), this one day isn't going to matter one lick.
Of course, you don't want to get in the HABIT of letting yourself off the hook in this way, but don't beat yourself up the next few days, and try not to think about the mess up, just get back on the proverbial horse, put one foot in front of the other, and keep doing the next right thing. Worst thing is to let it bum you out to the point that you pick up again. Right?
Take care my friend. Did you do that church gig yet? If not, I would consider bowing out, honestly. It might be impacting you leading up to it, subconsciously, if you're feeling anxious about ...
And if so, how did it go?
kozar
(2,850 posts)they let me know I screwed up a day,,,church gig is at 2nd practice tomorrow,, I will not cancel it,,when I sing,I feel good..and for reasons that will not be posted in open forum, my mics, piano,and other things I no longer have access to at home. I was told ( it took up too much space)
Thanks Leb,,,its gonna go great!!
mr_lebowski
(33,643 posts)I usually studiously avoid anything that makes me anxious in early sobriety (which I'm actually in right now myself ... not even at 1 month yet ... and it's pretty far from my first try at this ) but if you're confident it's a help not a hindrance, well ... you know yourself better than I do
kozar
(2,850 posts)will happen in January, as churches now of course, are working on Cantatas. But I am having a blast with them. Very small group, but a very happy group. I tend to shy away from "old religious songs" as they are hard for me to feel and vocalize. The Christmas season is actually helping, they are working on songs I know, I feel, and I can contribute. I have been at 3 of their practices now and someone said at each one, "Let's do Doug's song." I see they want a break from Cantata practice and I need the Cantata practice from them. So, I ask , "which one? " as I have sheet music. Sometimes we do the song that will be the gig,, sometimes we laugh and goof off. Heck we even did "On the Cover of The Rolling Stone" already!! Whenever this side journey ends, I will let them know how much they are helping me, I want to tell them now, but I just feel a certain vibe with this group that I do not want to disrupt at this time.
As always lebowski,,and all,,
TY
Koz
Stuart G
(38,726 posts)I've been around a while..and I am grateful that I am still around. Here at Addictions & Recovery we
do not care about punctuation and spelling...Please do not give up. Keep Coming back...and ignore the losers.