Addiction & Recovery

kozar

(2,850 posts) Sun May 17, 2020, 08:11 PM May 2020

update,,an asshole helped

Well, gang, my chaos is being taken away from me. And I am starting to figure it out. Mrs K,who has cancer, and has fought it, and Tess,my hcp daughter, made a decision a few months ago to move. All I am gonna say is,, since 7 days ago, because our move date is coming quick,,June 6. We have placed our pets to new homes. Very carefully selected homes. and now Mrs K is seeing,,we made right choice. She deals with herself, I try to fight my drinking. Last 3 days have been fantastic. I dont feel anger anymore. Daughter is happy, we can BBQ on back deck and eat there without our Canine family. Both Mrs K and I overreached with our animals. We lost our focus,, I actually had a few drinks yesterday, and a few more today. And I feel different. I cannot find the dissent, the anger, I am cooking again, and understanding what I was fighting when I drink. ( present tense intentional.) I am thrilled. I for the first time in years,,understand me. Im not so far gone that I cannot see what happens day to day. I for the first time in 14 years, understand, I do not need the wine,rum or any. I just need Mrs K and Tess. And Mrs K is listening,talking, Tess is happy and not yelling. I will end this with, keep listening and keep your brain open, you'll get there.

And to Mr Timewise, who answered my posts with so many big,bad ass statements,so simple to type.

Live my life, my friend,,you are nothing.

I appreciate you all ,,but not Mr Timewise..who has no clue what we are going through.

Koz

6 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

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update,,an asshole helped (Original Post) kozar May 2020 OP

Hey, Koz. sheshe2 May 2020 #1

Well now Timewas May 2020 #2

Ok I accept, with a caveat kozar May 2020 #6

...... Maraya1969 May 2020 #3

... alwaysinasnit May 2020 #4

... handmade34 May 2020 #5

sheshe2

(87,464 posts)

1. Hey, Koz.

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 08:19 PM

May 2020

Best to you and yours. You can do this.

Timewas

(2,291 posts)

2. Well now

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Sun May 17, 2020, 08:37 PM

May 2020

O know you don't want to hear from me. BUT My answers to your previous post about how you felt were predicated on what I knew at the time I did not have any of this information that you are posting now....

Based on this new data I do understand your feelings and I absolutely understand where that can lead...I have been around the AA program for about 36 years now and have seen and heard many many sad tales including from my own head/mouth when I lost my wife to breast cancer and was diagnosed with bladder cancer myself.. I also know that a lot of users/drinkers will in fact use any excuse that comes up .. I live by the fact that "if you will drink over anything you will drink over anything...

I am sorry that you are going through all this crap,I have been there too and sometimes it does in fact take hard truth to get home to someone,I have lost many friends over my time around the program a couple of them I may have helped by telling it like it is rather than try to soft peddle the problem..If being an asshole then I will wear that title with pride if it saves a life... no one is in AA loking for pals they are trying to live rather than die

P.S it is Timewas not timewise best thing for you if you don't want to see this stuff from me is use the "ignore" feature, But do know a little about where you are coming from whether you believe that or not...

P.P.S I sincerely hope that it comes out better for you in the end..

kozar

(2,850 posts)

6. Ok I accept, with a caveat

Reply to Timewas (Reply #2)

Sun May 17, 2020, 10:19 PM

May 2020

Why would you make the posts to me? This is an addiction and recovery group. I read your whole response, and re read what you replied to me.

I accept you as who you are..I accept your apology ', I have no anger left in me. And yet I read your response when I asked you not to respond. Frankly I got your back in this group. Contact me anytime

Koz