I'm bummed and feeling more than a little silly

With all of the drama around here and with my ADD tendencies, sending prescriptions into the Mail Order Pharmacy is hard, but I finally did it and promptly ran out of two, one needed and one that would have been nice to have on a night before a big class. The needed one I got my GP, bless her heart, to prescribe enough to get me through to Tuesday. It's an antidepressant and I've been on it, well for at least a decade. Every time I think I might like to untie that tether, I go down, down, down. So, I've quit with that wish and when I forget for a day or two, my brain sparks, for lack of a better word. It's painful and freaky and I take my medicine and in a few hours, I'm better. This time, I had been off of it for four days and sick with the flu for most of it so I didn't notice. Today, I noticed, painfully. I looked through all the places I might have put some (in med boxes for trips - to no avail) so I called GP and they actually got me some to get me through the weekend. Hallelujah, right? Yeah, sort of.

See, it's one of the stimulating ones and now I'm up at 1:22 writing to you guys after trying most of the other medicines I can think of. Don't have alcohol and wouldn't do that anyway, because I know the chemical mechanism and it's lousy sleep. So after two hours of laying in bed, counting the minutes, I got up to do something else. I'm going to read my book for tomorrow - if that can't put me to sleep, what can? I kid. I'm actually really jazzed to finally get to go to this class (come to think of it, I may have Disney insomnia).

On the good side, I'm getting over the crud finally, so that won't be an impediment. And if I'm really sleepy tomorrow, I might ask one of my partners to drive me in. Carpool and avoiding my possible inattentiveness.

There's no recovery message here, just a moment to tell everyone that screw ups are a part of life and having entered the land of the living again after the crud, I created a silly scewup..