Addiction & Recovery

Stuart G

(38,726 posts) Sat Apr 17, 2021, 09:50 AM Apr 2021

You Can't Change The Past....

...That one is simple and easy to understand..But we want to change the past, because it hurt us and
made us feel bad. (and much worse)...I have never been able to "Change The Past" ..and neither has
my HP.
... That is why acceptance is so important. We can learn from the past, and when that situation
comes again, we can do something different, but no matter how much we try, we cannot change the
past...That one seems easy to accept, but many of us think we can change it, but we can't.

...You think that I have got that one by now, but...Not totally, just ..."One Day At A Time"..or
"One Moment At A Time"

6 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

You Can't Change The Past.... (Original Post) Stuart G Apr 2021 OP

So much unhappiness and self-hate comes from dwelling on mistakes and bad decisions in the past. Arkansas Granny Apr 2021 #1

Well said..Thank You for your input and ideas. K and R your post.... Stuart G Apr 2021 #2

I remember about 10 years ago Bristlecone Apr 2021 #3

Thank You very much for your post..ODAAT..never seen that before-short for "One Day At A Time". Stuart G Apr 2021 #4

I use medicine for my addiction alcoholism Duncanpup Apr 2021 #5

Don't focus on who you were, but who you want to be. bif Apr 2021 #6

Arkansas Granny

(31,855 posts)

1. So much unhappiness and self-hate comes from dwelling on mistakes and bad decisions in the past.

Reply to Stuart G (Original post)

Sat Apr 17, 2021, 10:11 AM

Apr 2021

The past may be someplace to visit, but you can't live there. Don't beat yourself up over what you can't change. Learn from it and move forward with your life.

Stuart G

(38,726 posts)

2. Well said..Thank You for your input and ideas. K and R your post....

Reply to Arkansas Granny (Reply #1)

Sat Apr 17, 2021, 10:14 AM

Apr 2021

Bristlecone

(10,512 posts)

3. I remember about 10 years ago

Reply to Stuart G (Original post)

Sat Apr 17, 2021, 10:28 AM

Apr 2021

I had been trying to quit and in one of my bad moments was feeling horrible about "what I had done" and I called a long-timer I knew who was helping me. I confessed to drinking "x" amount and his reply to be was "So?!"

I was shocked at what I then considered to be his lack of empathy and callousness towards my plight. After all, I had let the world down. He then proceeded to talk to me about trying to change the past, regretting things you can do nothing about now, and living my life moving forward in the best way that I can. In my case, sober. I may fall on my face, but at least I'm moving forward.

The dude saved my life over time - no doubt in my mind.

Can't change the past, can just try to live ODAAT. And as you said, some days by the moment.

Great message. Thx