If attending is a problem, stay away...

under most circumstances. Leaving an uncomfortable party is an act of joyful relief to me.

right there with you!

I never saw the point
I can’t sustain a conversation about much of anything.

where drinks were shoved at me. I have a response that has worked for 30 years: "NO; I don't have an off switch."

People are taken aback, for an old woman to say such a thing, and they back off.

if that is what is best for you!

Supposedly everyone was vaccinated. It's was in a small restaurant that had a tented area out back. That was another concern. Tight quarters with a lot of people I don't know. I'm guessing there were probably some folks who weren't vaccinated.

I don't drink, but only because alcohol depresses my system and just makes me want to sleep. There's nothing more boring than being in a room full of people who think booze makes them fun to be around. I give it a pass every time.

make whatever convo you want and drift around. If it's something you do because of your wife, have a convo with her about your thoughts and how it makes you feel.

You don't have to drink alcohol, it's up to you any one says anything, tell them you're the designated driver for her.

But the stupid shit I say when I drink has made me cut it out in public. Of course, haven’t been to a party in years now.

It's scary and hard to do alone - sounds like you have a great partner to help you out.

I don't go to many family gatherings anymore, same deal - I stand around sober, not interacting much with a bunch of tipsy relatives.

The relatives get put out that I don't show up much, but my wife totally understands and supports me. She takes the brunt having to make excuses, bless her heart.

I would not have made it 6 years sober without her.

She knows that the alternative to me ghosting or skipping parties is to drink. And she wasn't wild about that!

(oh, certainly, they think they are, but ...) Halfway through an evening like this and a plurality of the inhabitants will be tedious if not obnoxious. Those that are still there for the waning moments ....

I think you've got a good system. Give yourself that hour and half - after that you aren't missing much.

I drink water or non alcohol beer for 16 it so years now. The main NA beer to avoid is O'doules the rest are decent to very good. Small talk key is ask questions then listen and be ready to answer questions. It's fine to politely check out of a conversation or even the event. Best wishes for your recovery.

That way no one knows I'm not drinking.

They're finally making some IPAs in a NA form that are drinkable. Only one or two really fill you up!

I like the suggestion up thread of a glass of ginger ale (or something) just to keep your hands busy while getting breezed about the room.

isn't the best option for alcoholics and addicts.

Do you got a need to go out of your way to cause pain to other humans?
Your comments in this thread are an issue for any DUer who does have issues with chemicals.
You may be a normie, this place is for not normies

A normie huh? What a pathetic characterization.

Just sayin'.

Proud of you for staying sober.

I look back on my life and all alcohol has done to it. My mother and maybe my father were alcoholics. My childhood is full of memories, including one of my mother being arrested on a sunshiny Saturday morning in front of the entire neighborhood and falling face first in a restaurant, etc. Then my parents both died young, Dad at 49 and Mom at 54. Then in 2001, my daughter was killed by a well-known alcoholic whose nickname was rambo. Then in 2018, a family member killed an innocent man the same way my daughter was killed (hit and run).

I have a negative attitude toward alcohol consumption these days, not that I've been a saint myself for much of my life. I have family and friends who are alcoholics, and others who drink socially and never get drunk. I have one or two drinks a year on average. But drinking seems to be really popular at the moment and I think that complicates things for those of us who have experienced the really bad outcomes associated with it.

Thank you for posting. I can't talk about this with many of the people I know who drink all the time and think it's just hunky dory. I'm not even sure that my family member who recently got out of prison isn't drinking. She avoids communicating with me; I'm pretty sure it's because of my daughter. She does have a clue about what a crushing loss that was.

Do you go to meetings? Sometimes sobriety requires acquiring a whole new circle of friends. I'm glad your wife is understanding toward your need to not be around drunk people.

I've been dithering about posting this for ages; it seems your post just kind of brought on an onslaught of feelings around alcohol for me. Sorry if I went too far afield.

My family got me into rehab. And I now attend SMART meetings. In person before Covid, and now via zoom. I attend weekly meetings and the group is very cool and supportive. It's interesting to hear other people's stories. My usual reaction is, "Wow, I was a saint compared to some of these folks!"

I was an evening drinker who just liked the buzz. A majority of the folks in the meeting used alcohol to hide deep seated problems. But I still liked it way too much and by the end, I was drinking every night until I fell asleep or passed out. So this is definitely a good thing.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Some people can never shake it no matter what (my mother); others, like you (and my older brother) might be more correctly categorized as habitual drinkers, as they keep it at home and manage to avoid a lot of alcohol-related issues (like not being able to hold a job, losing one's family, DUIs etc). My other brother falls in the middle because he had the same job for over 25 years, has a successful marriage, etc, but when he's out with others he will invariably be the most drunk person there and has had multiple DUIs. I wish he'd quit alcohol but have little hope that he will.

You have a loving family and I am so happy for you that you have chosen sobriety and been clean all this time. I know it is not easy, but what I gleaned from your post is not so much that you were aching for a drink at the party, but that you have moved on from drinking and now find it unpleasant to be around drunk people. Right or wrong that's my take.

However, when everyone at the party has a drink in his/her hand the whole time, I have to admit, I do have a bit of an urge to drink. But I manage to keep it in check.

even my friend who is no kind of drunk whatsoever will pressure me to have a drink when we go out to dinner. Or she would, back in the days when we went places. We don't do that these days, cause we're old and there's a pandemic.

I have taken the drink from time to time, being assiduously careful to be sure that I will have plenty of food and time before I drive again. Sometimes I just stick to water.

it seems, when you are being sober (and trying to remain that way), society seems all geared up to getting everyone drunk/high, etc.

Perhaps the next time, remind the hosts that you don't drink, or tell the hosts (and I know that sometimes stating such can be a downer) but the hosts do want to know these things (I did) and some are actually pretty good and will make other arrangements for such guests, e.g., a separate area away from the drinking and/or smoking portion of the party, perhaps a chess set or so placed strategically or a TV set there...

As a good host, one does want to make their guests feel at ease and comfortable.

When they greeted us at the door, one of the first things they said was that there were all sorts of flavored waters and sodas available. They both know I'm in recovery.

different people behave. What you did is true freedom worth singing about.

Way to go.

You've determined what you can handle and did the right thing. I've learned where I belong and where I don't, like bars (though I never really went to them even when I was drinking). I belonged to a women's AA group and we'd go to dinner before someone's celebration - and I felt comfortable there since I knew that no one else was drinking. The woman I used to celebrate with had been sober since 1974!

And though I make it a point to avoid events where people are bound to be drinking, one thing that I've learned is to make sure I have something in my hand - soda, water, coffee - which prevents anyone from offering to get you a drink.

Hang in there and keep up the good work. I never thought I'd make six months, but I have 12 years as of last April. So if I can make it, you can too...